Pen Pals
by awesomepigman
Summary: Sakura Haruno was the most popular girl at Konaha High, that changes fast when she becomes the class "slut". She then decides to create a blog about her life. Finding all the friends and jerks she needs on her blog, including a best friend, a jerk, a good advice giver and others. Will she find love also; what happens when she meets them. SakuraXAkatsuki. Rated T for Hidan and Inner
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Life sort of, how should I put, SUCKS for Haruno Sakura. Sure she's the smartest kid at Konaha Highschool and she has all the friends but they aren't exactly the type of people she could talk to, not to mention they all call her the class slut. So Sakura decided to start a blog where she puts her thoughts, a blog that her classmates don't know about. Here she has all the friends and enemies she needs, including a friend she tells everything to, an asshole who likes to argue, a sensical advice giver, and many others.

For the reader:

"Talking"

**Inner Sakura**

'Thinking'

_reading something _

Author Notes (A/N)

Text/Description

_'talking to inner'_

Chapter One: Just Another Blog

"Hey, Sakura!" The overjoyed blonde called while running towards me.

"What is it this time pig?" The blonde turned three shades of purple trying to calm down after hearing her much hated nickname. "Ino?" I said trying to get her attention again.

"Oh, Yeah! Haven't you heard Sasuke dumped Karin, he's single again!" The blonde squealed and started jumping around.

** He's ours now bitch!**

_'No, he's not. Plus he doesn't like me, inner.' _

**He doesn't have to like you, just me.**

_ 'I am you.'_ 'Sometimes inner isn't very smart'

**You're the one who just called herself dumb. **

Inwardly glaring at inner I pushed that thought aside.

** Look! There he is! Pounce Now! Rape Him! **

Looking at what inner's imaginary finger was pointing at I saw him, Sasuke Uchiha, the most beautiful and popular guy in school. He was surrounded by a group of girls, literally drooling over him.

**He's Walking Away! Quick, Talk To Him Now!**

_ 'Your right, he's single and we're popular too. There's no way we could lose to those bitches!'_

"Sasuke, hey how's it going?"

**You are an idiot.**

"Hn."

_'Is that even a word?'_

** Who cares he's hot.**

"Okay, well me and some friends are going to the mall after school, you should come with."

**You're not going to the mall after school?**

_'He doesn't know that'_

**What if says yes?**

_'We have our date.'_

**I don't think that's how it works.**

_'You were just yelling rape him.'_

**But only you can hear that.**

_'Great.'_

"I'm busy", the sexy Uchiha said coldly then walked away.

**With me**

'Shut up.' His groupies started to snicker and point at me saying names like "slut" and "whore".

'I can't believe I was rejected.'

**I can. I mean look at you, who makes up going to the mall, and more importantly who wants someone with pink hair. **As much as I hated it inner was right, I did make up that mall crap and I do have short pink NATURAL hair.

* * *

"It's okay Sakura, Sasuke acts like that towards everyone." Naruto, one of my closest friends said while I sat down with my lunch. Comments could still be heard about this mornings events and me being rejected.

**We went from popular to being the school slut.**

'You're over exaggerating, it's just a rumor that will be gone in a couple days, inner.'

I was so wrong. A month later and here I am still the "school slut" and even my friends are starting to believe it. A couple days ago I even caught Ino gossiping about me.

The bell just rung, it's now lunch.

I headed to the cafeteria when some bitch tripped me, I looked up and saw it was Karin.

"Look slut stay away from my Sasuke, he doesn't like you and no one wants a slutty bitch." The redhead stated before pushing up her glasses and walking away, her little posse following her cheering her on. I just stayed there on the ground a couple seconds staring before finally getting up and walking into the cafeteria. I then saw it, everyone stopped and looked at me whispering nasty comments, and when I made it to my regular table everyone moved their stuff so there was no room for me.

'What did I do wrong? I asked Sasuke out, he rejected me, and now this. Why? I was popular, my friends? What did I do to deserve this?'

Tears filled my eyes and I ran out the door to the nurse. I always like the nurse she was sweet, I think her name is Shizune. I told her I didn't feel so well, which wasn't exactly a lie. After a while of taking my temperature and me whining saying how bad I felt, I was finally sent home. Unfortunately I'm a ophan so my apartment where I stayed with my aunt was to far to walk (not that they'd let me, being "sick".) So my aunt had to pick me up, she's really sweet but I just wanted to be alone.

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay from here, you know I can stay home."

"It's fine aunt Tsunade go back to work, I'll just sleep." I told her after arriving back home and faking my best sick look.

"Fine, I'll be back around the usual 6ish."

"Kay, bye." I said trying to smile.

She then left and I proceeded to cry into a pillow.

After about ten minutes of just

wanting to die I looked at the clock, it was now 1:00 p.m.. I still had a couple of hours to myself, so I grabbed my laptop and messed around on tumblr. Nothing really cheered me up just a bunch of post and the comments and repost, yada yada yada. That's when it hit me.

'I should start a blog about my life, maybe someone can cheer me up!'

I started the blog right away. I made it under the user/penname Pinky because of the nickname I used to get due to my hair color.

After about a half an hour I had the registration of the account done and started my first post, naming the thread Just a blog from the class slut. I debated changing it thinking it would be really obvious who wrote it especially with the username Pinky but I kept it.

'I want someone to find it and read it, someone like Karin or even my former friends. I want them to see the reviews bashing them once I've posted this.'

**What if they beat the shit out of you instead.**

_'Sometimes you ruin the moment, inner.'_

I then proceeded to write out my very long, detailed post about my life and what had happened, making sure to state more than once that I was exaggerating the events. After what felt like years of rambling on about myself I reread my post over and over, cursor hovering over the post button.

**Just click it.**

_ 'I can't this could be my savior or just make matters worse.'_

** You won't know that until you click it.**

_'You're right, I won't know until I post this.'_

**I'm always right, and you might want to hurry it's already four and I'm hungry as shit. **

_'Crap! I haven't eaten anything since seven this morning.'_

I clicked post then headed to the kitchen where I made a sandwich; I then made another sandwich when my stomach still wanted food and I obliged. It was now 4:30 p.m. and I still had about an hour before I had to fake a sickness some more. Heading to my room I sat down to check my posting status, when someone buzzed the door.

I crept toward the door without making noise and checked the peephole to see Hinata, one of my closer former friends. Knowing I'd probably regret opening that door I turned away and pretended no one was home.

"S-Sakura I know you're there, I just wanted to give you this note I'll slide it under the door for you." She then did just that and an envelope appeared under the door.

**How did she know we were here? It's like she can she us through the door. **(A/N: hehe ) 

_'Tell me about'_

"I have to go now or I'll be late for dinner and I don't want my dad to get mad. B-bye Sakura." Once her footsteps couldn't be heard anymore I grabbed the letter and started to read it.

_Dear Sakura,_

_I'm sorry for what we did at school today and all the rumors about you, Naruto and everyone else at our table too. We didn't want to exclude you but Ino convinced us that if we didn't go along with it we'd be just as hated and made fun of._

_Sincerely, _

_Hinata._

I sat there staring at the letter for forever not knowing what to do.

'Should believe and forgive Hinata she was one of my close friends? But what if everyone else continues or even what if she continues to exclude me? She never said anywhere that anyone would stop. In fact the letter was really short and brief, even though Hinata's shy she never would make such an unbelievable apology. Maybe I was wrong about who my friends were from the beginning.'

**Maybe you're giving me a headache.**

_'Sorry. I guess I'm just ovethinking things.'_

**I don't know if you are or not maybe you should ask your blog.**

'OMG. I forgot all about the blog. There could be comments and reviews and who knows what else I'll find'

I raced to my laptop and opened it up. Plopping myself down on my bed I turned on the laptop and waited for it to start up. The login screen finally appeared and I entered my password, clicked internet explorer, and opened the blog. Hearing keys rustling at the door I closed the laptop viciously, through it down on my desk and jumped under the covers. The main door could be heard opening.

"Sakura, I'm back I got off a little early to check on you!" Aunt Tsunade was right it was 5:15 and she usually got back around 6:00-6:30ish. She walked into my room quietly, "How are you?"

"Fine, I think my headaches cleared up."

"That's good do you think you could stomach some soup?"

"I can try."

"Okay, I'll make you some right away." Smiling she walked out of the room to start the soup. She came back awhile later with a bowl of wonton soup. (A/N: Which actually helps more than chicken soup in my opinion.) 

I had about three fourths the bowl saying I couldn't finish the entire thing, she understood since I was "sick". This wasn't far from the truth, I couldn't eat after two sandwiches.

The rest the day I laid there thinking about all that had happened and replayed it over and over in my mind. What stuck in my mind out of all of it was what I saw in the corner of my laptop screen before closing it.

_ 6 new comments. _

**Hell yeah!**

* * *

A/N:

Hi eveyone! First things first I got a couple of things I'd like to say and ask.

1: The rest of the chapters will not be this short.

2: I plan on updating every Monday and Thursday, maybe Friday instead.

3: This chapter was just an introduction and from here on out I plan on making it mostly SakuraXAkatsuki.

4: There will be an end pairing but for now Sakura will have loving moments with them all.

5: I'll take pairing request :)

6: I'm having a hard time with creating pen/usernames for the Akatsuki if you guys have any suggestions.

7: I will not abandon story no matter what!

8: R&R (Read and Review). 

bye bye :D


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey, I'm back with chapter two and so happy because of the reviews I got! I also want to thank DeadlyDarkAngel, candybluesful, Arcikii, and the a guest for giving me some awesome pen/ usernames for the Akatsuki.

Disclaimer: I do not nor will I ever own the wonderful Naruto and its many sexy characters.

Beep, beep, beep!

_'I need a less obnoxious alarm.'_

**Shh, I'm trying to sleep.**

_'And a less obnoxious inner.'_

Inner was now snorring while hugging a pillow._ 'That selfish bitch.'_

Trudging towards the bathroom, Aunt Tsunade stopped me.

"What are you doing Sakura?"

"Getting ready for school?" I don't see what my aunt seems to be getting at.

"It's Saturday, Sakura."

_'Fuck.'_ I inwardly glared daggers at the sleeping little bitch who didn't remind me, then sighed turning around and heading back to my room.

"Are you feeling better!" Tsunade yelled back as I entered my room.

"Fine."

**You forgot something else.**

_'When did you wake up!'_

**...um...I'm you and seriously aren't you forgetting something.**

_'It doesn't matter if you're me, you were sound aslee... THE BLOG!_

**There you go.**

Picking up my laptop I logged in to find the comments went up from yesterday afternoon. They were now at 7.

_'Woot Woot!'_

**You haven't read them yet, they could be bad.**

_'Don't say that.'_ I made a depressed face at inner then prepared for the moment of truth. Crossing my fingers I clicked on those beautiful words, 7 unread comments.

Scrolling down to the first comment I started to read.

_JashinsBITCH: What the hell is this? Bitch I don't want to hear about your emotions and shit, I thought this was supposed to be about a damn slut!_

_'What. This isn't possible.'_

**Well you haven't read the rest, it could get better.**

I'm seconds away from tears now, but I continued to read with some hope.

_Origami'sMistress: Please forgive the earlier comment, Hidan doesn't always think before talking. I'm sorry about what happened to you and wish you the best._

**See they aren't all bad.**

_'You're right one bad guy isn't going to stop my blog.' _

I continued further down the page.

_JashinsBITCH: I think before I talk, it isn't my fault some stupid bitch thinks that calling her fucking drama a blog by the school slut is smart, when it's really misleading people who want to see a real slut._

'Okay maybe one bad guy can ruin my blog.' I'm once again depressed but Inner seems to be thinking about something.

**He... might actually be helping.**

_'He's completely bashing us! How is that helping!'_

**Because he was looking for a blog about a slut, since he's complaining so much that must me he doesn't see you as a slut, right?**

_'That might possibly be the most brilliant thing you've ever said.'_

**Whatever... lets keep reading we might be able to use some of this.**

_DarkKnight: Ignore Hidan, or "JashinsBITCH" he's always like that._

_'Hidan? That's right, that's what the other comment said to. They must all be friends, but "always like that"? I don't understand how anyone could be friends with a jerk like that.'_

**Maybe he's hot.**

_'I don't care if he's freaking Taylor Lautner! He's a jerk and I don't like it.'_

**You'll regret saying that if he turns out to be Taylor Lautner.**

_'He's not Taylor Lautner!'_

**I want him to be.**

_'Let's just read the next comment.'_

_JashinsBITCH: Damn it Itachi get out of here!_

_'Itachi! Isn't that Sasuke's brother's name."_

**Isn't he part of a gang? What's it called? The 'I got skis' or 'a cats keys'... maybe...it's.. I don't know something weird.**

_'The Akatsuki.'_

**That's the one.**

_'We have gang members on our blog.'_

**I wonder if they'll let us join?**

_'Gang members?'_

**What else do they say?**

_'I don't know, I'll check.'_

_Origami'sMistress: I'm really sorry on Hidan's behalf he doesn't have much self restraint or common curtisy. Please forgive us for spamming your blog with these comments, I'm now stopping Hidan from wasting your time._

_'That's the first six, meaning this is what was there last time I checked.'_

**Okay, so lets check the other one.**

_$MoneyLover$: Hidan's paying me to say he isn't sorry that your blog is a lie._

**I think you started an online chat room for gang members.**

_'For once we agree on something.'_

**Are you going to leave a new post?**

_'I don't even know if they'll check it.'_

**That's what you're worried about?**

_'What should I say?'_

**Ask if any of them are Taylor Lautner.**

_'Will you stop it with Taylor Lautner already._

**Never.**

_'I'll ask them if they're the Akatsuki.'_

**What if they say they are?**

_'Then I make sure not to tell them much personal information.'_(A/N: You probably shouldn't tell anyone you don't know private info...:D)

_Pinky: Are you guys part of the Akatsuki?_

**Now we wait.**

_'We don't even know if they'll respond.'_

**Click refresh.**

_'They aren't going to respond that quick, let alone respond at all."_

**Click It.**

_'No'_

**Click IT! **

I clicked it, and to my surprise inner was right they responded right away.

_JashinsBITCH: Of course we are stupid bitch._

**I think we made a new friend.**

_'What gave you that idea?'_

**That one girl said she was stopping him from posting but he's still commenting on the blog. **(A/N: I'm having them assume that Konan, aka: Oragami'sMistress is a girl based on the pen name.)

_'He probably follows the blog to make sure no one starts bashing him.'_

**Ask him about it then.**

_Pinky: How did you respond so quickly? Are you following my blog?_

After a couple of minutes of waiting and refreshing the page there was still no reply.

**I think you hurt his feelings.**

_'I don't think he has feelings.'_

**That's not a nice thing to say about Taylor Lautner.**

_'He's not Taylor Lautner.'_

**Ask him for a picture.**

_'What! Why?'_

**So that we can be sure he is not Taylor Lautner.**

_'Maybe there's a less embarassing way of finding out.'_

**Stalk his profile?**

_'Yeah.'_

I clicked on his pen name and it took me to his profile where you could clearly see his profile picture.

**What the hell is that.**

Inner and I were staring at a necklace with a circle pendent which had a triangle inside it.

_'A backwards symbol for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows?' _**...I don't think so.**

_'Should I ask?'_

**Couldn't hurt.**

I went back to the blog and asked.

_Pinky: What's with your profile pic?_

_'There, now he should reply if he really is following the blog.'_

**Refresh! Refresh!**

_'I just posted!'_

**...Please, I like Taylor Lautner...**

_'He isn't Taylor Lautner!_

**You still don't know that.**

_'Fine.'_

_JashinsBITCH: So your interested in Jashinism?_

_'Jashinism? I"ve never heard of a religion called Jashinism.'_

**It explains his username.**

_Pinky: Jashinism?_

A couple of seconds later he replied.

_JashinsBITCH: It the best religion ever. Are you thinking about converting?_

_'He just started being nice, I don't want to burst his bubble.'_

**You were just going on about how much of a jerk he was.**

_'Which is why I want him to keep being nice.'_

**So you agree, he is Taylor Lautner.**

I ignored inner and her Taylor Lautner obsession, to send my reply.

_Pinky: Sorry, but I don't think so._

After a while of talking:

_JashinsBITCH: We don't need bitches like you anyway._

_Pinky: Doesn't that contradict your username?_

_JashinsBITCH: No._

_Pinky: Yeah, it does._

_Pinky: Are you really part of the Akatsuki._

_JashinsBITCH: No it doesn't and of course I fucking am!_

_Pinky: That's cool I guess._

**You just called them cool.**

_'Well I can't just say they beat and kill, now can I.'_

_JashinsBITCH: Cool? What the fuck is wrong with you. Everyone is annoying as fuck in the Akatsuki._

_Pinky: Why are you still talking to me?_

**He isn't going to answer that.**

Oh, he answered it.

_JashinsBITCH: Can you not read Everyone. Is. Annoying. As. Fuck._

I giggled at this comment, I don't know why I just felt happy, in a weird messed up way I think I made a friend. Then someone else posted something.

_Sharkie: Are you seriously still on here? I thought Konan told you to stop?_

**Who's he?**

_'How am I supposed to know?'_

**Konan must be that girl.**

_'Yeah, probably, but man do they need to stop saying their names on a public blog.'_

_JashinsBITCH: At least this bitch isn't annoying as fuck._

_'Was that a compliment?'_

**Probably.**

_'Ahh, how sweet.'_

_Sharkie: Whatever, I can't wait to tell everyone about this._

_JashinsBITCH: You do and I'll cut you up and make you into sushi._

_Pinky: Hey! Fish are friends not food._

_Sharkie: Fish?_

_Pinky: You know, cuz of your username._

Kisame was laughing at the mysterious girl who Hidan for some unknown reason was talking to, and who was funny as hell. Hidan, however, was yelling and screaming at the shark-like man for threatening to tell everyone about his conversation with, "That bitch". After going on a rampage you could tell everyone had had enough and in there own words they all thought, "Hidan, you dramatic bitch."

_'Its been ten minutes already I guess they're gone.'_

**I'm hungry.**

_'Yeah, its been an hour and a half since I woke up and I still haven't eaten.'_

Empty doesn't begin to describe our fridge, or at least it doesn't right now. I kind of used all the sandwhich items and condiments (I don't really want a sandwhich for breakfast anyway.) The rest was just random things that don't sound so good right now.

_'So, where should we go?'_

**Jack in the box.**

_'Deal.'_

Aunt Tsunade's car was gone, meaning she probably left for work. She's a doctor so she makes a good chunk of money, because of this and my parents death she kind of spoiles me. I got into my car, it was a black Corvette Z06 (A/N: My dream car.) The car had a custom decal on the driver's side handle. (A/N: I have a picture on my profile.) You'd think she'd buy a house when she has the money to, but she keeps this apartment instead.

When I got to the Jack in the box I ordered two Breakfast burritos then parked while I ate them.

As I was mauling my food (I was very hungry) I saw something that surprized me enough to drop my burrito, and that is something you don't ever want to see.

What had surprized me were the three people walking out of Jack in the box. Ino, Naruto, and Hinata, my former closest friends. There was no doubt in my mind they'd spot me and my car if I didn't get out of here, and I did not want to talk to them. So I started up the car and tried to drive away, it didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to. I almost ran them all over, and they looked right at me.

_'Damn do I miss my burrito right now.'_ Driving away I didn't want to head home already when it was only 10:00 and a Saturday, so I decided to road trip to the next city over while eating my second burrito (Thank goodness I bought a second one.) Then inner said something that surprized me again (This time I clouched the burrito tightly, I ain't dropping another one.)

**Don't the Akatsuki live in this town.**

_'Fuck.'_

**That's what I thought, just making sure.**

_'It isn't we're going to see them, this city is big, and they don't even know what I look like.'_

Inner was quiet and I pulled into the city's mall. Wandering around I went into the lego store.

**You're kidding right.**

_'Shh, I'm looking at legos, do not interrupt me.'_

**The only people in here are little kids and there parents.**

_'And the cashiers and me and YOU.'_

**You are never going to find Taylor Lautner this way.**

"Please! Tobi is a good boy! Please! Deidara senpai! I wanna go in the Lego store!" What I thought was a child at first, turned out to be a teenager about my age wearing, oh yes, an eyepatch. (A/N: Sorry but I had trouble trying to write Tobi with a mask and I won't spoil it for anyone who doesn't know but I'm keeping Tobi child-like.)

**That is why you don't go to the lego store, especially since now you'll be associated with someone like him.**

_'No I won't, I don't even need know him.'_

"Please!"

"No, go by yourself if you want to go so bad, un." (A/N: I thought about a little kid having to go to the bathroom when I wrote this. :D)

"Deidara senpai is mean."

"Just go by your damn self, un!" I now saw another guy about my age, which if it wasn't for his voice and his clothes could pass for a girl. Especially because of his hair, it was long golden blonde (longer than mine) and up in a ponytail while his bangs covered the left side of his face (his left, not mine.)

The child-like one moped as he walked slowly into the Lego store, I went back to looking at Legos. Then I felt a hand grab my sleeve to get my attention, I looked to my right to see the same guy with an eyepatch.

"Tobi's name is Tobi, whats yours"

**You have got to be kidding me.**

"My name is Sakura and it's nice to meet you Tobi."

"Tobi thinks Sakura is pretty."

_'HE'S SO CUTE!"_

"Deidara senpai left, will Sakura go to stores with Tobi."

**It could be a trap, you don't know him, don't do it.**

"Of course I will Tobi."

**I can't believe you agreed.**

_'Be reasonable he's a sweet heart and he called us pretty.'_

**He speaks in third person.**

_'That doesn't mean anything, so be quiet!'_

"Sakura is Tobi's best friend!" Tobi then started to run around and smile like maniac.

_'How can you not think that is adorable.'_

**I never said I didn't I just said I don't trust him.**

_'Whatever, I have a best friend to hang out with.'_

**You're kidding, right?**

Me and Tobi went to all kinds of different stores including a pet shop, a toy shop, and a candy store.

"Tobi wants Sakura to meet the others."

_'Others?'_

**I told you it was a trap!**

Tobi then led the way to the food court where I got the biggest surprize today.

A group of 9 people sat with about four small tables pushed together, one of the people I recognised.

_'Itachi! Then that must be the Akatsuki.'_

**It's alright remember they don't know what we look like.**

Inner spoke a little to soon because Tobi grabbed my arm and pulled me directly towards them.

_'There is no way Tobi is part of the Akatsuki.'_

Tobi then stopped right in front of them, still holding onto my arm.

"Look! Tobi made a new friend! Tobi and Sakura are best friends!"

Everyone stopped and looked at the strange pink haired girl who managed to be friends with Tobi.

"Uh..hi." I said and gave a small wave, scared out of my wits.

**Hey, look!**

_'That necklace?...Hidan?'_

**He may not be Taylor Lautner but man does he give Sasuke a run for his money. I told you he was hot.**

_'You also called him Taylor Lautner.'_

**So. I can dream can't I. Speaking of which they're all kind of hot aren't they.**

**'What! That ones blue!' **

**I like blue.**

I finally spoke up, I mean if I made friends with them online why not make friends here, right?

"Um, hey I think I've met some of you."

"How so?" A cold stern voice came from my left where a man with red hair sat, not a deep red like the guy on my far right but an orange-red. He also looked like a voodoo doll he had so many piercings my face started to go numb thinking about it. Yet he held power over the group, and even with the piercings man was he hot.

**He has no soul! He's a ginger with no soul!**

Inner seemed right for once, he didn't let any emotion on his face, it was scary but enchanting.

"Well, I kind of met some of you on a blog I started."

Hidan stood up and yelled,

"Your that Fucking Bitch!"

I went wide eyed.

**feisty, me likey.**

_'I don't think that's a good thing.'_

"Uh.. I guess."

A bellowing laugh then erupted as if it came from the deepest darkest pits of...

**IT'S SHARKIE!**

_'Blue dude is sharkie?_

**Of course 'cause he looks like a shark, get it?**

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because you're the clever one that came up with fish are friends not food then." He smiled with a big toothy shark-like grin.

"I never thought you'd actually look like a shark." He chuckled some more at my comment, then a blue haired girl (the only girl) with a oragimi flower tucked in her hair spoke up.

"Sorry that they wouldn't stop bothering you."

**That must be Konan.**

"It's alright." I then gave a small smile to her.

"Are you fucking stalking me." Yeah, Hidan took the conversion in his own direction.

"No, why would I stalk you, let alone find you. I met Tobi in the Lego store and hung out with him for a while."

"Tobi told you, Sakura is Tobi's best friend."

_'Ahhh.'_

"Admit it, you fucking stalked me."

"No, I almost ran over some former friends at Jack in the box so I came here to get away."

Everyone got silent.

You forgot to add the part where you dropped a burrito.

_'Either they think I'm a lunatic or they respect me, I can't tell.'_

"Um..I should go."

Someone grabbed my sleeve as I was walking turning away.

**Sharkie likes us.**

_'What?'_

I saw what inner ment, blue dude had grabbed our arm. I heard him start to chuckle and I was scared straight.

"Ah but we were just getting to know ya."

**He's my new favorite.**

"Rape!"

**Um, sweety.**

_'Huh?'_

**That one wasn't in your head.**

_'Oh, shit.' _

All hell froze over. Everyone was dead silent.

Loud obnoxious laughs filled the air. Hidan, sharkie, and the blonde guy (who is not a girl) were laughing their asses off.

I even saw some smirks from the others.

I sat and made jokes with them a while and got introduced to all of them. I found out Sharkies real name was Kisame, the pierced guy is their leader and his name is Pein. The blondes name was Deidara, and the red-head next to him was Sasori. The man next to Hidan is Kakuzu, and he had some creepy looking eyes. In between him and Pein was Zetsu. Zetsu looked like a green oreo (A/N: hehe you'll see why I did this later in the story, and I got the name greenoreo from Arcikii, thanks.) Then there was Tobi, Konan, and Itachi.

After introductions and joking we all left I headed over to my car.

"That's your car,un?"

"Yeah, my aunt sort of spoils me."

Hidan and Deidara went running over and, petted my car.

**They're petting it.**

_'Yeah.'_

"What the Fuck!" Hidan was now staring into the driver's window.

"What?"

"Why, is there a half eaten burrito on the floor?"

**...um...**

_'Fuck.'_

(A/N: Hey so I'd thought I'd have Sakura meet the Akatsuki in person that way it's kind of easier for them to talk on the blog if you get what I'm saying. Also remember I take pairing request, there is actually a poll on account, so go now.

Man, Now I want a breakfast burrito.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey it's me again! I really love reviews, even flames. I love criticism and any kind of review. However, I had a terrible day today. So I logged in to fanfiction... yada yada yada and read my comments and love every single one of them (Hugs everyone for being down right awesome.) Like I said though I had a terrible day and this one comment, I don't even know the exact reason why, but this comment made me happy again. I won't say which one 'cause I do love them all I decided to make another chapter for you guys tomorrow! So here is chapter 3.

_**Gosh, that is rank!**_  
_'And whose fault is that?'_  
**Yours!**  
_'Oh, right.'_  
**I can't believe you forgot to clean up the burrito.**  
_'I can't believe it smells this bad'_  
**True that.**  
Driving home was a nightmare, even though I threw out the burrito, it still smelt terrible.  
_'Remind me to get a car freshener.'_  
**Who do I look like to you, a secretary?**  
_'No, you look like me.'_  
**And don't forget it.**  
Sighing I pulled into the driveway and headed inside. It was fifteen minutes to five so I made a salad for dinner.  
**How boring.**  
_'Who cares.'_  
I sat and watched some TV, I am Legend had just begun. (A/N: I was really watching this at five on Saturday... Who doesn't love I am Legend?)  
Finishing my dinner I cleaned up and grabbed my laptop when I saw a letter sticking out from under some papers and homework (eww.) Picking it up I now remembered Hinata and what the letter said, remembering what had happened I felt defeated.  
_'How am I supposed to talk to someone about my life when the Akatsuki have infiltrated my blog?'_  
**Why not just talk to them about it.**  
_'Please like a feared gang is going to help me with my social drama.'_  
**So? They were nice and I'm pretty sure they liked us.**  
_'Liking someone and being there for them aren't the same.'_  
**But they can be.**  
Sighing, because I knew inner had won the argument I sat still looking off into my empty black laptop screen. All I wanted to do was beary myself, finally bringing myself back to reality I turned on the computer and logged on to my blog. As much as I hated the Akatsuki stalking my blog I also enjoyed them, if that makes any sense at all. There were no new comments which I pretty much expected, so I began writing a new post about Hinata's note. Saying this:  
_Hey, everyone. So after the events at school one of my "friends" gave me a note saying this:_

_Dear Sakura,_

_I'm sorry for what we did at school today and all the rumors about you, Naruto and everyone else at our table too. We didn't want to exclude you but Ino convinced us that if we didn't go along with it we'd be just as hated and made fun of._

_Sincerely, _  
_Hinata._

_I don't know what to think. What should I do? Help._  
I then clicked post and hoped someone would help. Anyone, for that matter.  
**Not anyone, someone with good advice.**  
_'Okay fine, someone with good advice.'_  
After a couple minutes my new "friend" commented.  
_JashinsBITCH: Why the fuck are you still posting your fucking drama on here._  
_'Told you they wouldn't help.'_  
**Tell him the truth.**  
_'Hell, no!'_  
**You never know what he'll do until you try.**  
I sighed and sent my reply.  
_Pinky: Because I have no one else to talk to._  
After about six more minutes there was a reply, but it wasn't from Hidan.  
_OragamisMistress: Hidan, told me I should talk to you, so what's wrong?_  
(A/N: Sorry, but I really have trouble writing Konan.)  
_'I feel bad now.'_  
**Why?**  
_'She's only talking to us because of Hidan, that makes us a bit of a burden.'_  
**So, that means they care enough talk to us.**  
_'A gang cares about us.'_  
**Think about it this way, in half a year you'll graduate and be able to go to college with them and maybe even join the Akatsuki.**  
_'That's supposed to be a good thing?'_  
**Well right now they're your only friends and that's the least horrible idea I have.**  
Inner had a point, I have no friends but a gang that I just met, and one messed up life, where that gang is the only good thing happening to me. Other than aunt Tsunade I really had no friends anymore, and aunt Tsunade wasn't that easy to talk to, she'd listen but wouldn't always give the best advice.  
I sent my reply to Konan, still feeling bad for laying my drama problems on her.  
_Pinky: Sorry to waste your time I just have no one to talk to about my life and all my friends are ignoring me, except I got this letter and I don't know what to do.'_  
**Way to sound whiny and annoying.**  
_'Well, I'm sorry but my life is in shambles and I don't need some annoying ass inner criticising me!'_  
Inner went silent. I couldn't blame her, I really snapped at her. Unfornately the silence didn't last long.  
**Damn, you need to do that more often! You know how cool it would've been if you snapped at Karin like that, or even Ino and everyone else!**  
_'You're starting to sound like Hidan.'_  
**If you never met Hidan you wouldn't have even responded to that comment. You would've just admitted defeat.**  
That cocky bitch (Inner), ignoring her I clicked refresh and checked Konan's reply.  
_OragamisMistress: I'm really sorry for you Sakura, but I think the best advice anyone can give is to prove everyone wrong._  
_'As obvious as the advice sounds, it was probably the best solution.'_  
**But how?**  
_'"How", what?'_  
**How do you prove them wrong?**  
_'...um'_  
_Pinky: How do I prove them wrong?_  
_OragamisMistress: Well, how'd you become popular in the first place?_  
_'How did we?'_  
**We were really smart, show offish, and made everyone laugh.**  
_'So I just have to make people laugh! Great I'll plan it all out tomorrow while aunt Tsunade's at work!'_  
_Pinky: You gave me the best idea! Thank you so much, I really apreciate your advice!_  
_OragimisMistress: No problem. :)_  
_'Oh my great goodness! I can't believe it is going to be that simple! I'm so stupid!'_  
**You aren't even sure if it will work.**  
_'I've had enough of your smart ass attitude.'_  
**I'm you!**  
_'Fuck off.'_  
A/N: Once again I got a list of shit to say, so it goes:  
1: This chapter was short but the next one will be at least 3,000 words and I'm posting it tomorrow because I love you guys.  
2: Sorry if Sakura and inner were a bit more bickery than usual but like I said I'm in a bad mood. (I also made Sakura more whiny than I wanted.)  
3: I HAVE A POLL ON MY ACCOUNT SO PLEASE CHOOSE A PAIRING!  
4: Everyone has an inner, if you didn't you'd be reading this out loud, or for that matter you wouldn't be able to read at all.  
5: If your still reading this read and review!  
and thank you.  
from your author who get made fun of for being slightly schizophrenic,  
-awesomepigman.


	4. Chapter 4

Beep! Beep!  
**Not again! Why didn't you turn that stupid thing off!**  
_'Because we are going to plan out how to get my life back!'_  
**Fine, but first I need my beauty sleep.**  
_'NO, we are going to head down to the mall (Konaha mall not Amegakure mall like yesterday) and buy some new clothes to help me feel good, then we are going to practice being down right awesome, and finally we will make them all suffer!'_  
**You need help.**  
_'You think? I got you trapped in my mind, of course I need help.'_  
**I can't go back to sleep thanks to you.**  
_'You're welcome!'_  
Getting out of bed, I headed over to my closet.  
_'Everything I own I either got with Ino, and it really does look slutty or I bought choosing comfort over beauty. This is why I need new clothes, ones that look amazing but don't make me look slutty.'_  
**I thought your solution was to be yourself like when you first became popular?**  
_'It is but I really want everyone to suffer for what they did to me. So, I figured looking hot was a bit of bonus.'_  
**For your Akatsuki friends?**  
_'No!'_  
**Right that's just a bonus also.**  
_'...maybe.'_  
**Speaking of them, you should set up your blog on your phone, so you can tell if they ever post something else.**  
_'That's right I never did set it up!_' Grabbing my phone I logged onto Tumblr and saved it allowing notifications on my phone.  
_'There.'_  
Finally I went back to my closet and grabbed grey yoga pants and a a plain white tank, I headed into the bathroom to get ready. Right before heading out I grabbed my favorite jacket, it's a black and white splatter paint design that makes a bunch of U's and A's for Under Armor. It also has splashes of random pink splatter paint also. (A/N: My all time favorite jacket, that I never what anything to happen to. Also I thought the black and white with a splash of pink would really go well with Sakura's hair.)

* * *

I had found a bunch of cute clothes, including a pink camisole that matched my hair, some other cute shirts, and a couple pairs of levi's which looked fine (Emphasis on the fine.)  
**New clothes, check. Next being down-right awesome. Um, how exactly do you expect to do that?**  
_'Actually, new clothes isn't down.'_  
**How? You bought an entire new wardrobe?**  
_'Well, I want to get my hair cut.'_  
**That isn't clothing.**  
_'But I'm counting it as looking good, which will go in the clothes catagory.'_  
**But I like our hair!**  
Inner started to whine and plead for me to stop when I walked into the hairdresser's. I was happy to be getting my hair cut, the only reason I let it grow out was because I heard Sasuke liked long-haired girls, and now that I'm getting payback on everyone for their gossiping ways I don't care what Sasuke thinks. I like short hair.  
**NO! STOP NOW!**  
_'Shut it. Now look, we look gorgeous.'_  
Inner was wimpering but didn't complain anymore. Who could? Yeah, my hair is a unique being pink and all but it just looked way to girly and childish long. Now it looks amazing, the hairdresser did a wonderful job. My precious pink locks fell lightly on the nape of my neck and hovered slightly above my shoulders. My bangs curled inward following my cheek bones.  
_'Now, new clothes and look, check. On to being awesome.'_  
**What do you plan on doing for being awesome?**  
_'Well, like you pointed out yesterday, my only real friends are some gang I just met, and I'm graduating in half a year so why even try to make things better at Konaha high. I figured that I'll become strong enough to join the Akatsuki when I head off to college so I'm not alone as much.'_  
**So, you're going to train to get strong? From who exactly?**  
_'Um...well that's what the rest of our day is devoted.'_  
**Okay, so, any ideas?**

* * *

I was looking at the local phonebook for places I could learn to fight.  
_'Well there's only four local places to train in Konaha so that narrows it down'_  
**Yeah, Teakwando, Weapons mastery (is that really legal) (A/N:Yes, it is :D), Boxing, and Fencing. Wait, why is fencing an option?**  
_'Because it teaches you to dodge and counter the opponents strikes.'_  
**Oh, that actually sounds useful.**  
_'Yeah, but they all kind of teach you to do that on there own ways._' (A/N: No they don't :D)  
**Okay, so then lets check them out.**  
_'Yeah.'_

* * *

First stop, Teakwando.  
**Wow, this place is huge.**  
_'Tell me about it.'_  
"Hello, can I help you?"  
**Creepy.**  
_'Shh.'_  
"Um, I want to get stronger, so I thought I'd check out all the different places in Konaha."  
The man infront of smiled the biggest smile ever showing off his pearly whites, and giving me a thumbs up started to reply.  
"Well you've come to the right place youthful miss, here you will learn to fight youthful battles and win while enjoying being so youthful!"  
**Youthful? Talk about pedophile alert.**  
_'That's not nice. He's just trying to be kind.'_  
He then placed a hand on my shoulder and continued to talk about youth.  
**Pedophile, Pedophile!**  
"Um, I'm sorry but I still want to check out the other places but I'll remember what you said." I smiled nicely and began to back up so his hand wasn't on my shoulder anymore.  
"Oh, of course I hope to see you again soon." His smiled wasn't as big as before but it was still there.  
I walked out as soon as possible, letting out a breath that I had been holding in.  
**We are never going back there.**  
_'Agreed.'_  
**Okay, so where to next?**  
_'Uh.. It looks like Boxing and Fencing are the closest, they're in the same building. I guess a husband and wife run them.'_  
**So, we won't be molested?**  
_'We weren't molested in the first place.'_  
**Yeah, but you were creeped out by that guy just as much as me.**  
_'So, alot of people creep me out, that doesn't mean they're bad people.'_  
**He was obsessed with youth, you don't find that weird in the least?**  
_'Okay, that was a bit much. So, what?'_  
**Youth. In otherwords childhood and young people.** (A/N: I'm really sorry if this ruins Guy for anyone.)  
_'Shut up, your putting thoughts in my mind that I never wanted in it.'_  
**Sorry.**

* * *

_'Here it is.'_ I stepped inside the gym like area and was greeted by a dark brown haired woman with sharp deep eyes and a sweet smile.  
**She's pretty.**  
_'Yeah.'_  
"Hello, I'm Kurenai I run the fencing program here, how may I help you?"  
"Oh, I'm just sort of looking around at training places in town."  
"What sort of training places?"  
"Mostly, ones for fighting and defense."  
"Then, let me show you around." She smiled sweetly again, man was she nice.  
**I like her.**  
_'Me to.'_  
"Sure." I smiled back trying my best to match her smile.  
"Okay, follow me. You wouldn't mind telling me your name, would you?"  
"Oh, sorry I sort of forgot. I'm Sakura Haruno."  
"It's fine, I really think you're going to like it here if you want to learn offense and defense."  
**We found our training place!**  
_'Well, there's still another.'_  
**So. I like it here.**  
I followed Kurenai as she showed me the basic equipment and explained what I would learn. Then she brought me to a match that was going on. I watch as to people dodged eachothers moves swiftly, one quick twitch of the hand and a trust forward as one of them had been rendered immobile. Both removed there helmets to reveal a long haired boy the winner and the loser was none other than Hinata.  
_'Shit! Just when we found a good trainer.'_  
"That's Hinata and her cousin Neiji Hyuga, they're my star pupils." Kurenai pointed to Hinata and the long-brown haired boy as she named them. Hinata looked over at me and I made an excuse to leave.  
"I'm sorry, but I don't really think I'm cut out for this. It seems really complicated and now that I think about some small self defense tricks might be all I need."  
"Oh, well that's alright, it isn't for everyone. Are you sure you don't want to head over to check out the boxing though?"  
"No, it's fine. I should probably get going."  
"Okay, I hope I'll see you again, sometime, Sakura."  
**She was so nice though.**  
_'It makes sense that Hinata would have a trainer like her, though.'_  
**Yeah. So, Weapons Mastery?**  
_'I guess.'_

* * *

Sighing I walked inside, hoping this was the place because I had officially ran out of other choices. Walking in I thought the place was empty until I saw a silver haired (yes, silver) man with a mask (What the heck.) He was reading something, which when I took a closer look I saw was a porn magazine.  
What the fuck!  
_'This is the trainer?'_  
"Um...hello."  
He looked up at me but didn't put down the magazine (seriously, what the heck is up with him.)  
"Can I help you?" He had a bored look on his face like I was a bother.  
"Well, I was wondering about the Weapon's Mastery training?"  
"Do you have any basic defense and offense training." He was still looking at his magazine.  
"No."  
"Come back when you do."  
**What! Who the hell does he think he is!**  
"Why, can't I just learn how to do that stuff here?"  
**Tell him!**  
"Because I don't teach that."  
I was silent.  
**Shit, does this mean we don't have anyone to train us?**  
'I guess.'  
I turned towards the down and started to walk out.  
"I can tell you where to go to learn the basics, if you want."  
"No, it's fine." I left and headed home.  
When I got home I thought about going over and learning fencing and boxing despite Hinata being there, but ruled it out.  
**Hey, why not do what you did before.**  
_'What would that be?'_  
**Ask your gang friends.**  
_'That's a good idea.'_  
**All my ideas are good.**  
I opened my laptop and made my message.  
_Pinky: Do you know any good places to learn offense and defense fighting?_  
_'What if they don't'_  
**Then we're screwed Sherlock.**  
_'Lovely.'_  
**Looks like we have a reply.**  
Inner was right, but it wasn't Hidan this time.  
_Darkknight: Why don't you ask your aunt to teach you._  
I had told everyone about my aunt and parents death yesterday when I met them, but know one really payed attention to names so it really surprised me to read Itachi's response.  
**Why would Tsunade be a good trainer? I didn't know she could fight.**  
_Pinky: I didn't know she could fight._  
_JashinsBITCH: She's friends with our college's headmaster and rumor has it she fucking beat him to a pulp when he tried to catch her naked._  
_'That's more than I needed to know.'_  
_Pinky: Ew? But how do you know that your headmaster isn't just weak._  
Then I got a surprise with Hidan's response.  
_JashinsBITCH: He's a fucking martial arts champion._  
_Pinky: Oh._  
_JashinsBITCH: Why do you want to fucking know anyway?_  
_Pinky: I want to train to get back at everyone at my school._  
**No you don't.**  
_'I want to get back at them, though.'_  
**Not by beating them up.**  
_'Well, I'm not telling him the real reason.'_  
**Why not?**  
_'Oh, you know why the fuck not.'_  
**Whatever.**  
_JashinsBITCH: Like to beat the shit out them or to stop them from beating the shit out of you?_  
_Pinky: Both, I guess._  
**Lies! You are lying! No one is beating you up!**  
_'Karin tripped me.'_  
**That doesn't count you lier!**  
_'I'm Going to make you talk to that youth obsessed man again.'_  
**Oh, hell no.**  
_'That's what I thought.'_  
_JashinsBITCH: Those fuckers deserve to have the shit beat out of them then._  
**He's supporting you.**  
_'Of course he is. He's part of a gang, he probably enjoys beating people up.'_  
**That is prejudice towards gangs everywhere.**  
_'No, just the Akatsuki.'_  
_Pinky: Yeah, but only if I can get my aunt to train me._  
I then shut the computer and went to look for food. While opening the fridge door I got a call from aunt Tsunade.  
"Hey. What's up?" I asked casually.  
"I got off work early, and wanted to know if you wanted to go out to eat?"  
"Sure, I was about to find something to eat but this works out perfect."  
"Okay, meet me at Grider's (A/N: It's a family restraunt where you sit down at a bar type area and listen/watch the musical entertainment.)  
"Okay. Bye."  
"Bye, honey, see you soon."  
A/N: So I didn't quite make 3,000, but don't get angry because my mom wanted me to go look at houses with her so I didn't quite get the next 1,000 words. Speaking of which I got two things to say,  
1: Would you guys rather have 1,000-2,000 word chapters everyday/every other day or 4,000-6,000 word chapters twice a week?  
2: Everyone go to the poll It's on my profile and says Who should end up with Sakura? (Pen Pals)... go now, and for all those who already have, Thank You and Have a Nice Day.  
Read and Review :D  
Bye -awesomepigman


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hi everybody reading this! Anyway, when I asked what people would prefer, a 1,000-2,000 word chapter every day or a 5,000-6,000 chapter twice a week, most replies said one everyday/ every other day. So, I'm changing my routine, from now on I hope to have more than 1,500 words a day for you guys. No matter what though it will be more than 1,000 words. Also when school starts again for me I won't be posting everyday but more like everyother day. And if any one's curious I don't count my authors notes in my word count, so, this isn't part of your chapter today :D. Now here is chapter 5.

* * *

Arriving at Grider's amediately headed for the bar, knowing that is where I'd find aunt Tsunade. She was sitting with some unknown achohol infront of her.  
**Great, she's already started drinking.**  
_'Yeah, but it might be easier to convince her to train me when she's drunk.'_  
**That's taking advantage of the situation and isn't right.**  
_'Yeah, and all the other trainers aren't options, so we need a yes from this one.'_  
**I don't like you with short hair, you win to many arguments now.**  
_'I don't think it's the hair.'_  
**Whatever. I'm just saying normally I'm the one suggesting these type of things.**  
"Oh, Sakura sit down. Order whatever you want."  
**I'd like an Electric Ice Tea.**  
_'We're eightteen.'_  
**She said WHATEVER you want, and I want.**  
_'We've never even had achohol before.'_  
**So.**  
_'You're pathetic.'_  
I sat down at the bar stool next aunt Tsunade and ordered a barbecue burger (A/N: Sorry to any vegans or vegetarians but I grew up on meat, and I just couldn't take it not being in my diet. :( )  
Do to my aunt's drinking it took her awhile but she finally noticed I cut my hair.  
"Sakura? What did you do to your hair?"  
**What did you do, indeed.**  
"I went to a hairdresser and got it cut short."  
"Really? Well, I like it, it makes you look more mature."  
_'Thanks? Do we want mature?'_  
**I'm not part of this conversation.**  
_'Serioursly? You're still angry I cut my hair? Well, I think we look good to so stuff it.'_  
"Thanks, I like it this way too...Um aunt Tsunade?"  
"Hm, Is there something wrong?"  
"Well no, it's just I want to learn to fight and defend myself, and was hoping you'd teach me."  
Then everything went silent, even with everyone else's conversations going on, it was dead silent here.  
**Great, look what you did now.**  
_'How was I suppose to know this was a touchy subject.'_  
**Maybe the fact that she never told you about being able to fight.**  
_'Oh.'_  
"..aunt T-tsunade."  
**Did you just stutter? Oh gosh don't turn into Hinata.**  
"Sakura, where did you here about me fighting?"  
**She doesn't sound to happy.**  
"A couple of friends heard a rumor."  
"What would that rumor be?"  
"That you beat Ame's college headmaster who's a martial arts champion."  
"It's a lie." She turned back towards the counter and took a drink from her glass.  
"No, it's not."  
**Woah! Who lit a fire under your ass!**  
_'The Akatsuki.'_  
**Ooh we got a sadist up in here!**  
_'I'm not a sadist!'_  
**You could be.**  
_'Never!'_  
"What did you just say, Sakura?"  
"You're lying you did beat that headmaster didn't you."  
**You go girl!**  
"Sakura, why do you want to learn to fight anyway?"  
"Self defense, I'm heading off to college in less than a year and I want to be able to protect myself."  
**When did you get good at lying?**  
_'When I met you.'_  
**You've always known me, th...Oh, that is just mean.**  
"Self defense? What's the real reason?"  
I didn't really have a choice, so I told her about how everyone calls me a slut now and Hinata's letter, I left out the blog and the Akatsuki, knowing my aunt wouldn't want me anywhere near a gang. I then said my solution was to prove everyone and there stupid rumor wrong and looking good and learning to fight was part of that. Aunt Tsunade grew wide-eyed at my resolve but then said something that surprised me.  
"Do you really want to go through with this?"  
"More than anything right now."  
Aunt Tsunade sighed knowing she'd have to train me after hearing my logic and how set I am on learning to fight.  
"Fine, come on I want to show you some basic stuff before you go to bed."

* * *

When we got home aunt Tsunade taught me some extremely basic stuff, like elbowing the stomache or neck if someone's behind you, and how to sidestep to get behind them. She also showed me how to knock anyone out of balance by pinpointing parts of their legs. Finally she taught me how to make a proper fist and and throw a straight punch. It seems like alot and it is but when you put it all together or even get it in your mind this is nothing compared to what she plans on teaching me. It kind of scares me to think I could actually try to beat someone up or fight them, but somepeople deserve it.  
**That's a little harsh don't you think?**  
_'No.'_  
**You haven't even learn enough to beat someone up, just stop them from beating you up.**  
_'Or make a scene.'_  
**That's devious...I think I like it.**  
_'Tomorrow we start our payback.'_  
**Hey, didn't you have homework since you went home early?**  
_'Oh shit!'_  
**Yeah, I thought so.**  
_'I'm to tired to do it though!'_  
**Wow, talk about whiny. And I don't think it really matters if you miss an assignment, you have straight A's and extra credit points.**  
_'Still, my perfect scores will be ruined!'_  
**You want to go to Amegakure's college with the Akatsuki right?**  
_'Well, yeah, so?'_  
**You only need a 3.0 average to make it in. I think you'll make it.**  
_'Your right! Wait then how exactly did someone like Hidan make it in? Or Tobi for that matter?'_  
**I have no clue.**  
_'Oh.'_  
I turned off the lights in my room and layed down to sleep.  
_'Goodnight Inner.'_  
**Shut up, bitch, you cut our hair.**

* * *

A/N: So, well I don't think I have anything to say? Oh I know!  
Next chapter: Sakura heads to school looking badass and ready to take on the world! Right?  
Read and review!  
From your schizophrenic author, awesomepigman.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: WOOT! WOOT! I officially reached 50 comments thanks to you guys! I'm so sorry for not updating in a while but I been really busy with work. I actually do commisions (I'm an artist) and three of my friends had birthdays so I made them pictures along with there presents. Also I'm creating a tumblr blog for this story which will have pictures of Sakura and everyone, it will also have a questions section where you can ask Sakura and the Akatsuki questions. The blog is sakuraspenpals on tumblr, nothing is posted yet but I hope to get some stuff up soon. Also as it was pointed out in a review my sentences could be sepperated better so it isn't so hard to read. However, I start a new paragraph for each new speaker, sepperating it and everything but fanfiction edits it so it isn't there anymore. If anyone knows how to fix/stop fanfiction from doing this could you please tell me? Thanks, anyway here's the chapter.

Beep, beep!

**Urg! Why does that damn thing hate me so much!**

_'It's an alarm clock, I don't think it's physically capable of hate.'_

**Yeah, well I hate it! For once I want to wake up on my own with out that stupid thing screaming!**

_'You seem crankier then usual?'_

**NO SHIT SHERLOCKE!**

_'You want to take that anger out on someone who deserves it? Like Karin and her gang of sluts?'_

**...Yes, very much.**

_'Okay, then.'_ I got out of bed and forced myself to walk over to my closet. Opening the doors I looked at my new wardrobe, and grabbing the pink camisole, a pair of black jeans, and a white windbreaker. (A/N: Pictures on tumblr.) I took a shower and got ready to go. Finally ready, I grabbed my book bag, slipped on my baby pink converse, and headed to my car. (A/N: Hell yeah! I love my converse :D) I hopped into the car a bit over joyously and turned on the radio. After scrolling through stations I found my song, Boston by Augustana. (A/N: Go and listen if you haven't heard it, because it's a beautiful, but sad. Beautiful+Sad+Music=Pure perfection.)

**YOU DON'T KNOW ME, YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!** Inner was practically screaming the lyrics, and I had an urge to actually do the same. Then I realized inner is in my mind and if I do it people could actually hear it. As the song came to an end I pulled into the school parking lot, grabbed my book bag, and stepped out.

**Great, they're already staring.**

_ 'Yeah. You know I really want to just flip them off and walk away.'_

** OMG YES! DO IT!**

_ 'No, I'm not that dumb. Plus if you actually look, they are staring at the clothes and hair, not trying to stare us to death.'_

** So...We're hot?**

_ 'WE WERE ALWAYS HOT!'_

** Then why did you cut our hair?**

_ 'Because I felt like it!'_

**Well I fell like killing some bitches, ditching, and finding Taylor Lautner but you don't see me actually doing that, do ya?**

_ 'Um... by Taylor Lautner, do you mean Taylor Lautner or Hidan?'_

** Taylor Lautner. He seems nicer.**

_ 'I have no problem with that then.'_

** Damn right you don't.**

_ 'So...Kill some bitches?'_

** Hell yeah!**

_ 'No, maybe just punch a few.'_

**What if they die from the punch?**

_'That's unlikely.'_

**Contract a disease?**

_ 'What the hell is wrong with you?'_

** Ask yourself that.**

_ '...I just did.'_

** Exactly.**

_ 'You aren't even making sense, now.'_

** Says the person talking to herself.**

_ 'Says the person replying.'_

Inner was quiet for a while as I walked towards the school's entrance, then she broke the silence.

** ...Hey quick question?**

_ 'Shoot.'_

** Well, if we do get in a fight...What if we lose?**

_ 'We won't. We're strong and can hold our own well. Anyway, it isn't like there's a gang here like the Akatsuki.'_

**Yeah, but what does how hot the Akatsuki is have to do with fighting?**

_ 'You missed the point entirely.'_

** Oh.**

Sighing I opened the door to the main hallway and stepped inside. The loud obnoxious yells died down and were replaced by looks of confusion and inaudible whispers. Knowing that they couldn't possibly be praises I raised my head and walked on, smiling. I couldn't help it, yeah I was the "school slut" according to them, but the looks I was getting due to my new look made me smile. Not only that though, the looks I got when they saw me smiling, they felt great even though they shouldn't have. I am an outcast. I hate them all. I hate my friends that betrayed me. I hate the bitches that think they're better than me. So why the hell does this feel so fucking good? Why am I so happy? Why am I...

"Hey bitch wipe that retarded grin off your face or I'll do it for you." Yeah, Karin's a bitch. (A/N: I dreaded typing this because I absolutely hate it when people use the words retarded, gay, or faggot to mean something they find "stupid" or don't like.)

Oh no she fucking didn't. Without thinking words started coming out of my mouth,

"Was that a threat 'cause I've seen freakin' care bears say worse."

**Care Bears?**

_'Not Now Inner!'_

"What did you just say to me, slut!" The argument started to skyrocket from here on.

"You heard me. Oh and if I was you I'd avoid wearing that much white, 'cause sweeting you look like a bloody tampon." A crowd started to form but by now I didn't give a shit. As for the bloody tampon thing, well it was true. Karin had on white skinny jeans, a LOW cut white tee, and a white blazer. See I actually like red hair but man, that bitch wouldn't know pretty if it bit her in the ass.

"A bloody tampon? Oh, I'm glad to see you finally hit puberty, but you might want to lay off the kid jokes."

"I'm glad to see you finally distiguished the difference from kid jokes and being a whorey bitch."

"A whore? Sorry I don't do that stuff, but I see you cut your hair. Are they making you do that at your strip club now, Sakura?"

"Yeah, haven't you heard? Some people actually want to look good."

"Oh, wel.." I cut the bitch off,

"In MORE places then one." Yeah, I went there.

**Bitch deserved it.**

_'Hell yeah she did.'_

"Are you saying I sleep around?!"

"Oh, honey, you do more than just sleep."

**BURN! Bitch just got burned so bad Chuck Norris was like, "damn, that was hot!"**

_'Bitch just got burned so bad Hell sent us a letter asking why it's so hot.'_

**Bitch got burned so bad the burns made her so irrecognisable that she doesn't look half bad anymore.**

_'You're saying she looked only half bad in the first place.'_

** Oooh she just got mind burned!**

_'Fuck yeah! We need to created a secret handshake no one knows about.'_

**No.**

**One: I don't have hands for you to shake.**

**Two: No one could know about it because who the Fuck Are You Going To Tell, That You Have A Fucking Secret Handshake With Someone In Your Mind, To!**

**Three: Where The Hell Are The Teachers?! You'd Think They'd Investigate Why Everyone Is Gathered In This Hall, RIGHT!?**

_'You're always talking about doing someone against the rules or illegal, but when we're in trouble you suddenly become against everything and find the negitive side to it don't you?'_

**Yeah, what's your point?**

_'Nevermind.'_

**Hey look at the bright side, we still haven't gotten in a physical fight.**

_'Great.'_

A/N: OMG! I planned on posting this forever ago but I switched internet providers and so I didn't pay for a months internet when I only had 5 days until my new one was going to be installed/setup. Therefore I've been without internet for a couple days. Now I got my new internet and I post for you guys chapter six...finally. -Don't forget the poll, if you haven't already, vote for the pairing you want. -Sakura still has half a year of highschool before summer vacation and finally college. I plan on taking having her communicate with Akatsuki over the blog alot and have her meet them in person during weekends (sometimes not always.) Also I want to take this story slowly and let relationships progress because Sakura is not a "school slut" and there will be some fluff over the course of these chapters but not until Summer vacation will anything real happen. Even then you don't know what I mean by real (Not to real though, remember this fic is rated teen... Although I might create a sequel when this ones done that's less teen and more mature if anyone wants to see it go further.) -I plan on this fic being long, and I mean looooonnnng so you better be in for the ride. -Finally Read and Review!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Oh My Great Goodness I love you guy! Hugs everyone of you (emotionally not physically...duh) Anyway I've now reached 60 comments, YEAH! I'd like to thank everyone that has subscribed/follows, favorited, and comments on my story. Now a message to some reviewers,   
Simplicity-Shitsuboku: OMGG I Love you! Your comments always make me laugh (I love everyone of my comments actually).  
XxRaNdOmChIcKxX: Sorry, I know I kind of suck with updating and making long chapters but I'm trying to get better at it. Oh and you didn't hurt my feelings at all :D  
: Your welcome!  
Everyone else: THANK YOU!  
Now read!  
"Look, slut I don't know what made you think you could stand up to me but you should apologize before I get serious."  
**Who pissed in her cornflakes?**  
_'Apparently us.'_  
**Oh, right.**  
_'Well technically we burnt her cornflakes.'_  
**Where as ours are lightly toasted!**  
_'That sounds dirty.'_  
**How?**  
_'Our cornflakes are lightly toasted.'_  
**That's not that bad. What's bad is what I want to do to Taylor Lautner.**  
_'By Taylor Lautner do you mean Tay...'_  
**Both. Actually everyone in the Akatsuki for that matter.**  
_'I agree but only if it stays between you and me.'_  
**No, I thought I'd tell all my drinking buddies at the bar before I hit the town tonight.**  
_'Your sarcasm isn't needed.'_  
**Neither is your stupidity.**  
_'Hey Inner?'_  
**What?**  
_'Miss burnt cornflakes looks angry.'_  
**So what do we do?**  
_'Punch face.'_  
**I think I now respect you.**  
_'You always respected me, bitch'_  
**You are angry.**  
Ignoring Inner I took the opportunity to, yeah, punch face.  
My fist hit Karin's left cheek and smashed her nose. I wasn't sure if it was broken or not but I wished it was.  
**Hey, that isn't nice. She's already ugly enough, you don't have to make it worse.**  
_'I thought we were past burns?'_  
**Hell, no! I'm gonna burn the bitch 'til she's nothing but a pile of ash. Then I'm going to roll the ash into a blunt and smoke the bitch.**  
_'WHAT!...Wait...is...is that even possible?'_  
**Who the fuck knows. Sounds cool though, right?**  
_'No... it sounds illegal!'_  
**And cool.**  
_'Can we just beat her?'_  
**Probably.**  
Now that I really looked at the scene I realized how bad the situation had gotten. Karin was on the ground clutching her nose while blood dripped down her hands. Her groupies surrounded her, shreaking, their shrill voices screaming for help. Everyone that was gathered around looked at me in faces of horror, disgust, fear, confusion, and many more, not one being good. I looked at my own fist and saw Karin's blood on it.  
_'Why the hell did I punch her?'_  
**Like I said you were angry.**  
_'Holy shit! I have anger issues.'_  
**Yeah, funny, right?**  
_'Funny? Now she's going to go to the nurse and say I punched her. Then I'll get suspended. Then my perfect record and grades will be ruined. Then I end up a prostitute on the streets, trading favors for money.'_  
**Woah, what? A prostitute? You're jumping to conclusions.**  
_'That's what I told you when those bitches first started calling me a slut.'_  
**...I DON'T WANT TO BE A PROSTITUTE!**  
Tears started forming in my eyes, and I hauled ass out of there. Running through the halls and out into the courtyard, I snuck up onto the roof of the school. Our school actually didn't have roof access or any real way to get up on the roof, I just used a tall tree to get on top of the school. I wanted to be alone, even though it wasn't possible. Even up here, someone was bound to find me, and I sure as shit couldn't stay here all day. For now however, I enjoyed the peace and quiet up here. For now, I'll sit and quietly cry to myself.

* * *

After bawling my eyes out, I unraveled my body from its tight ball and shivered as the wind hit me. Leaning back I ended up on my back looking up at the clouds and sky. Trying to find shapes and things in the clouds like in the movies, I failed, only finding a bunch of clouds and one shaped like a penis. Giggling at my fucked up mind I soon went back to my tear filled solitude. I grabbed my phone to check the time and was shocked. 10:34 I had been up here for over three hours. Why had no one tried to find me? Surely Karin told the nurse I hit hurt? I spoke to soon.  
Hearing doors crash shut wasn't what scared me, they'd had opened and closed many times since I've been up here. What scared me was I heard voices shouting my name. I didn't stand up because I didn't want anyone to know I was here, so I slowly crept to the edge and peaked down at who it was. I was shocked at who I saw, more shocked than I thought possible.  
**Shit, do we have to talk to them?**  
_'I don't know.'_  
A/N: You know the drill,  
-Tumblr is up, it's at , so check it out and I'll be posting more soon.  
-Who do you think was calling Sakura?  
-Don't forget the poll, it's on my profile.  
-Where do you think Sakura should meet the Akatsuki next?  
-This chapter is short too... sorry:(  
-Read and Review  
*from a slightly twisted but hopefully humorous author,  
awesomepigman.  
Disclaimer: I haven't put one in forever (have I put one at all?) because I assumed it was obvious that in my schizophrenic world I do not own Naruto.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: You guys don't even know how much I love you! I woke up today and read all my comments and I'm just so happy! I love all the comments :D and have reached 73 when I last checked. I also wrote a oneshot if you guys want to check it out (it's honestly not good and only 233 words.) Anyway no one guessed right as to who it is calling Sakura. So...READ!  
I was frozen in place, they kept calling my name but I didn't dare to answer let alone move. I was confused, and angry by who I saw.  
**Why are they here? Shouldn't they be in class?**  
_'Yeah'_ Inner was right the four people in front of me should be in class. Yeah, that's right, FOUR people. Not one but four people stood in the court yard. Their group consisted of Sasuke, Karin, and two other guys I've seen with them before. I think the tall ginger was named Jugo, and the pale white haired guy was named Suigetsu.  
I didn't dare make a sound as they continued to look and call my name, I just ducked down so I wasn't visible.  
_'What are they doing here?'_  
**How am I supposed to know?**  
_'Maybe Karin told them to beat me up for punching her.'_  
**I doubt it, I mean seriously who listens to Karin?**  
_'Good point.'_  
I stayed down 'til the voices vanished along with their footsteps and the sounds of the doors closing. Finally looking up I realized I made a horrible mistake. All four of them were standing looking directly at me.  
**Shit.**  
_'You can say that again.'_  
**Fucking shit.**  
_'Or just make it worse, whatever floats your boat.'_  
**So, um...what do we do?**  
_'Run?'_  
**How, the only way down is the tree right next to them.**  
_'Right. How about we kill ourselves?'_  
**How about we ask them what they want.**  
_'Can we make a shiv first? You know for if things go sour.'_  
**No, we don't even know how to make a shiv.**  
_'Really? I don't think it's that hard.'_  
**We're not making a shiv.**  
_'Not even for messing with Karin?'_  
**...How fast can we make a shiv.**  
_'See it's not a bad idea.'_  
**Whatever, lets find out what they want.**  
"What do you want!" I hollered harshly at them.  
No answer?  
After a minute of silence Sasuke spoke up.  
"We want you to join our gang, Team Taka."  
**That is the dumbest name ever.**  
_'You said that the Akatsuki was weird originally too.'_  
**Yeah weird not dumb.**  
_'You're just saying that because you don't like them.'_  
**No, I'm saying that because it's dumb.**  
_'Oh and if the Akatsuki were named Team Taka and not them what would you say?'_  
**That they are sexy but man is that name dumb.**  
_'No, you'd be a total fangirl the entire time.'_  
**Fangirl? They are not tv show characters or some type of stars, they're gangs members!** (A/N: You sure about that inner?..hehe :D)  
_'Yet you still manage to do it.'_  
**...What should we say?**  
_'No, if we join their gang how the hell will we become an Akatsuki member.'_  
**But we wouldn't be made fun of anymore, isn't that the point of doing all that we've done.**  
_'Do you really want to be friends with the same people that mocked, gossiped about, and socially destroyed us. Because I've had enough of their shit, and right now the only people that are actually genuinely helping us are aunt Tsunade and a feared gang that we barely know.'_  
**So we're going to spend the rest of our Senior year being outcast? What about Prom? Are we going to be rejects there too?**  
_'We'll figure that out when the time comes, but for now we may be outcasts but every moment we get made fun of or left out we become stronger, and the Akatsuki couldn't turn down someone strong like us!'_  
**You know how fuck up it is when your biggest dream right now is to join one of the most feared gangs that exists.**  
_'Shut up.'_  
I looked down at the four faces staring at me and finally gave them my reply.  
"Thanks, but no thanks."  
Karin didn't like my answer ( which I didn't understand, I thought she'd be relieved.)  
"What kind of answer is that! We're offering you protection and everyone would stop shunning you!"  
"I can protect myself, and could care what everyone's saying. I know the truth and that's all that matters."  
**You go girl!**  
"You little bitch!"  
"Look who's talking, you witch." Suigetsu seems to have joined our conversation.  
**I like him!**  
_'You like anyone that hates Karin.'_  
**Is that a bad thing?**  
'Not at all.'  
**Hey, look they seem occupied lets try to climb down the front using the bricks.**  
Looking down at all of them I saw what inner ment, Karin and Suigetsu were arguing, while Jugo tried to stop them and Sasuke silently watched. So I slowly crawled to the other side of the roof and looked down.  
There was no tree to climb down here, but the school was old and made of brick which could make a suitable foothold. Turning around I lowered my feet down the side of the building and found a brick that protruded far enough for me to step on. Lowering myself more I found another, I tried to do this quickly so no one would notice I was gone yet, however, I reached an obstacle half way down the building. I had ran out of footholds and desperately felt around with my left foot. Thinking I had found one I eased myself onto it but the brick came out of place, and I was sent falling about five or six feet.  
Landing flat on my ass I cringed as the pain sent shivers down my spine, I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry but knew I'd never make it in a gang if I did. Standing up I cringed again at the new pain I felt from moving around. Forcing myself to walk to my car I got in and for the first time ever, ditched school.  
**Where are we going to go?**  
_'Away from here.'_  
**For good?**  
_'Hell, no! I don't think Tsunade would apreciate that.'_  
**Oh, I was hoping you would take me to see Taylor Lautner.**  
_'Why the hell are you so obsessed with Taylor Lautner! Why not someone else? There are other hot men out there, just like him. Some are even better looking.'_  
**Blasphemy!**  
Sighing I drove off, where to, I had no idea.  
A/N: So once again...list.  
-I thought I'd point this out, I actually like Karin and don't have any problem with her character. I just think it's funnier to make her a bitch.  
-I think I'll keep the poll up until I reach a point where I finally start Shipping Sakura, which won't be for a while. (Don't worry there will be fluff in the next chapter.)  
-Where should Sakura meet the Akatsuki next? (I started a new poll for this.)  
-Read and Review  
Disclaimer: I'm not adding a disclaimer to point out the sad truth that I do not own Naruto nor because I have to, I'm only adding it because I'm badass funny and will find a way to use it to my advantage.  
~From a Schizophrenic author who realized while reading the last two chapters of her story, that she is a bit of a sadist,  
awesomepigman.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hey everybody! So I know it's a long shot but I was hoping I could reach 100 reviews by chapter ten. I don't mind at all if I don't, just thought it would be cool to get 100. Anyway I forgot to mention the tumbler again last chapter, it is sakuraspenpals on tumblr. Now I made the foollish mistake of actually putting the web address/link so fanfiction edited it out last time I mentioned it. That's all for now, so read!  
**I'm hungry.**  
My stomache growled as inner complained, I still had now clue where I was going. I had been on the freeway for a bit and was now looking for a sign for nearby food. I saw a Jack in the box symbol and took that exit anticipating the delicious food. (A/N: Sorry, I always use Jack in the box as the place where Sakura gets food, but it's sooo good :D)  
Pulling into parking lot I decided to sit down and eat in the building since and had time to blow and didn't know where I was going to go yet.  
I walked into the store and ordered a BBQ burger and chedder bacon fries. Grabbing my order I went and sat in a small window booth. I sat and ate silently thinking about what had gone down the last couple of days.  
_'So, I went from being popular to a slut, started a blog and met a gang, hung out at a mall where I met the same gang in person. Then I prepared myself to be badass, making my dream to join thay gang, I cut my hair, got a new look, and had my aunt start training me to fight. Finally I went to school got angry and punched Karin, hid on the roof and cried, then got asked to join Sasuke's gang. I refused, ditched school, and am now sitting at a Jack in the box eating as my life sits in shambles. That's an average life for a teenager right?'_  
**...I think so.**  
_'Really? Isn't that a bit much?'_  
**At least your not pregnant. In fact you're almost eighteen, and you're still a virgin.**  
_'Is that a bad thing? I thought I was suppose to not be a slut and prove everyone wrong?'_  
**I'm just saying the Akatsuki like us and they are sexy.**  
_'You are a pervert.'_  
**You just called yourself a pervert.**  
_'Shut up.'_  
**I'm you, if you want me to shut up just stop thinking.**  
_'How the hell do you stop thinking?'_  
**How am I supposed to know?**  
_'Good point.'_ Then someone interrupted me and inners fight, someone I didn't expect.  
"Hey, look it's pinky."  
**This day is full of surprises, huh.**  
_'Tell me about it.'_  
I look at an all to familiar gang standing to my left, opposite of the window. A big blue sharkie grin was on Kisame's face and the others stood around him after he spotted me. I had just finished my food, so rather than acknowledge their presence I got up through away my trash, walked back over to the booth, sat back down, took a sip of my coke, then looked up at them.  
**What did you just do?**  
_'I don't know, I thought it would seem cool.'_  
**It didn't.**  
_'Oh, well damn.'_  
I sighed then smiled a big smile back at the fish face.  
"Uh, hi."  
**You are so uncool when you talk.**  
_'Shut Up!'_  
"Hey, pinky. We almost didn't recognise you, but no one else has pink hair." Kisame had a point, the clothes and hair cut definitely made me look different.  
"Yeah, I thought I needed a new look, I guess."  
**Is it just me or is this conversation extremely awkward.**  
_'It not just you.'_  
**Okay good.**  
_'Was it this awkward last time?'_  
**I don't think so.**  
'Crap.'  
I decided to try and break the ice.  
"So, how's it going?"  
**That's how you break the ice?**  
_'Yes, it is.'_  
Konan decided to ask me a question of her own.  
"Shouldn't you be in school?"  
**Shit, I just forgot about that.**  
"I kind of ditched."  
"Why?"  
"I might have punched this girl in the face."  
**You act like you're ashamed of it.**  
Konan, Pein, and Itachi widened their eyes a bit, it was barely noticeable.  
"Wait ago pinky." Hidan for the first time ever said something without cursing.  
**Did that just happen?**  
_'Why do they all call me pinky? They know my real name, and I call them all by their real names.'_  
**Because it suits us.**  
Konan brought the conversation back on track.  
"I thought you were trying to prove everyone wrong, not hurt them."  
"Well, Karin was the one who started the rumors and she made me really mad, so we started arguing, and I burned her, which made her angry, so I punched her which made her nose bleed and possibly break. She then went to her gang Team Taka who then asked me to join them and they'd stop the rumors if I did but I refused so they got in an argument. While they were fighting I tried to escape by scaling the building because I was on the roof but I fell on my ass which is still sore, and then proceeded to drive off and ended up here."  
**Wow, when you say it like that, we sound kind of badass.**  
_'Really?'_  
**Yeah.**  
The Akatsuki either agreed with inner or were shocked at how muched had happened.  
**I just realized something.**  
_'What?'_  
**Pirate boy isn't with them.**  
_'Tobi? Where is he.'_  
"Um... where's Tobi."  
"After all you just said you're worried about him, un?" Deidara had one of those, really I can't believe you just said that faces, except there was an un at the end. So as a reply I just pouted and said this,  
"But he said I was a his new best friend."  
Hidan then decided this conversation needed some curse words.  
"Who gives a shit about that annoying fuck."  
"I do! He looked at legos with me!" I'll admit it I started to sound like a little kid at this point.  
"Legos?" Kisame found this funny for some reason, and there is nothing funny about legos!  
"Yes, Legos. You got a problem with that gills!" I was now practically yelling.  
**Gill would be a funny name for Kisame.**  
_'No, Gill is more of a feministic male name.'_  
**Are you saying Kisame can't be feminine?**  
_'You just put horrible images in my mind.'_  
**You're welcome.**  
Everyone was just staring at me after yelling at Kisame, and I don't mean all the Akatsuki, I mean everybody in Jack in the box. You can't blame them though, it isn't everyday you see a short, tiny, pinked haired girl yelling at a huge, buff, blue, fish-man, or is it. (A/N: Bitch please, I see stuff like that everyday. :D)  
_'Why are we always the ones in situations like this?'_  
**How the fuck should I know, I'm the one forced into them with you.**  
Sighing I decided to do the more awesome thing and adress the matter at hand. Looking around for a brief second I then proceeded to shout,  
"What are you all looking at?! Can't a Pink haired girl and a Shark guy talk about Legos!" I then said at normal volume but still loud enough for them to hear,  
"Stupid, freaks." Then rolled my eyes and looked away.  
_'Oh yeah, I am so badass right now.'_  
Realizing everyone was still staring I walked over to my booth again and spread out across the seat with my back against the wall and hands behind my head like a boss, then looked up at the gang infront of me.  
_'So badass.'_  
A/N: Okay so I sort of lied last chapter the fluff will be in the next chapter (hehe). Anyway listy:  
-I put up a new poll please check it out, it's on my profile.  
-Go on Tumblr! Once again it's called Sakuaraspenpals  
-I want to know something... How old do you guys think I am?  
-Read and Review  
Disclaimer: Yeah, that's right I don't own Naruto. It's hard to believe right? I know, but it's okay, I won't force you to believe me.  
~From a schizophrenic freak who has conversations with herself then, thinks she had the conversation with a friend, talks to that friend who ask what the hell she's talking about, and in her mind she is like, oh shit, no one but me knows about this conversation,  
~awesomepigman.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Hey everybody, so there will be some fluff this chapter like I said, also we've reached 90 reviews! So just ten more this chapter and I can reach 100? Maybe? Oh well it's just a small accomplishment I wanted to achieve. Anyway I wanted to say sorry for not updating, however my uncle passed away and so I've been extremely busy and down lately. The service was yesterday, and I'm finally writing this chapter for you guys, so enjoy.

I looked up at the nine gang members, smiling my ass off.  
Konan looked a little shocked, Kisame was smirking, showing off his sharp and pointy teeth. Pein, Itachi, Kakuzu, Sasori, and Zetsu's faces didn't change at all. Hidan had a grin on his face, and Deidara had a creepy smile/smirk that gave me the creeps.  
**They are sexy.**  
_'They could kill us.'_  
**Serioursly, come on, they like us.**  
_'Not all of them.'_  
**So half of them are silent and haven't said more then two words to us, that doesn't mean they don't like us.**  
_'Doesn't mean they like us either.'_  
**Then find out if you're so unsure.**  
_'How?'_  
**Ask them.**  
_'That's a bit to blunt.'_  
**So.**  
I sighed at inner and pushed that thought aside.  
"So, where is Tobi?"  
Hidan answered of course in a colorful, swear-filled way.  
"We left the fucker at the damn college."  
"Oh...Why do you guys hate him so much? I mean he's like a little kid."  
"I hate kids, un."  
I of course being that awkward person I am, responded with a insult.  
"It's not like anyone would want to have children with you anyway."  
Deidara didn't look very happy with my response. I ignored him though and decided to take a nap in the booth.

* * *

I woke up, somewhere moving, which I then made out to be a car.  
**We've been kidnapped!**  
Realizing inner could be right I looked around and found out I was in the back of a very nice car. Looking up front I saw Kisame in the passengers seat and Itachi driving.  
**What the hell happened?**  
_'We fell asleep infront the Akatsuki in Jack in the Box.'_  
**Right.**  
_'Wait. We fell asleep! What time is it? Shit what are going to do?'_  
**Ask them.**  
'Again, you are a bit too blunt sometimes.'  
I spoke up anyway, though.  
"Um... Why am I in a car with you guys?"  
**And you call me blunt.**  
"Oh, pinky you're awake. You fell asleep at the Jack in the Box."  
"I know that, but I want to know why I'm in a car with you guys."  
"Well, we weren't going to leave you there, and it was agreed that we shouldn't let you ride with Hidan or Deidara. So we ended up with you."  
I was glad I ended up in the same car as Kisame and not with Deidara or Hidan, who knows what would happen then.  
"Uh, yeah thanks for not making me be in the same car with either of them, but why couldn't you just leave me there?"  
Kisame chuckled which made me jump a bit.  
"Because we like you pinky."  
I uncontrollably blushed which made Kisame chuckle more, Itachi however kept looking at the road.  
**Where are we going? What about our car?**  
_'Really? You're worried about that when there are two, as you like to call them "sex gods" in this car.'_  
**Are you admitting that they're hot?**  
I ignored inner and decided to ask what was going on.  
"Where exactly are we going and what about my car?"  
Kisame didn't answer and Itachi stayed quiet.  
**What the hell is going on?**  
_'We really were kidnapped.'_  
**You don't know that, it could just be a surprize.**  
Kisame then turned around and tied my wrist and wrapped a blindfold on my eyes, before I could even try to stop him.  
"Sorry pinky but we can't tell you that."  
_'Yeah, surprize.'_

* * *

I decided to make the most of what could possibly be my last moments of life. So leaning back in the car seat I started telling the two men about thoughts I've had.  
"I thought Hidan was Taylor Lautner before I met him."  
I then paused hoping for a response, but continued talking when I recieved none.  
"I feel like a pedophile every time I look at Tobi, because I think he's hot, but regret that thought knowing he has the mind of a child."  
Once again pausing, I continued when I recieved nothing but silence.  
"I like to think of discusting ways to kill people I don't like."  
I once again paused. There was complete silence, so I said the most embarassing one yet.  
"I secretly dream about dressing up as a penis and having someone take really ironic pictures of me."  
**That would be awesome.**  
_'I know!'_  
As awesome as that would be I recieved no response.  
_'Those cold hearted bastards.'_

* * *

Kisame's POV:  
I felt bad for tying Sakura up but I couldn't tell her what Pein had planned. Suddenly I heard her start to speak though.  
"I thought Hidan was Taylor Lautner before I met him."  
I smirked at the sudden outburst but held my silence.  
After some time she spoke again.  
"I feel like a pedophile every time I look at Tobi, because I think he's hot, but regret that thought knowing he has the mind of a child."  
I wanted to laugh at the comment but still held my silence smiling.  
She said another comment,  
"I like to think of discusting ways to kill people I don't like."  
After hearing this I continued to smile, and think about how I could easily handle not laughing at her outbursts. Then I heard her next comment.  
"I secretly dream about dressing up as a penis and having someone take really ironic pictures of me."  
I had to hold my stomache and really try hard not to laugh at the weird pink-haired girl in the back seat.  
This was going to be a long drive.

A/N: Hey so yeah list:  
- Last chance to vote on "Where Sakura should meet the Akatsuki next?" The poll is on my profile.  
- I feel like writing a oneshot, any ideas?  
- Tumblr: Sakuraspenpals, nothing new has been posted because I've been super busy.  
- Read and Review! Lets try for 100 reviews!  
Disclaimer:  
No I don't own Naruto, or Taylor Lautner for that matter, or Jack in the Box. I do however own a lightup yo-yo.  
*From a schizophrenic author who acts like a four year old, a super awesome four year old, with a lightup yo-yo,  
~awesomepigman


	11. Chapter 11

*OMG I FORGOT! We made it to 100 reviews thanks to you guys! So keep reviewin and I'll keep writing!:)

A/N: So, um, yeah I suck. I honestly wasn't going to post a new chapter until the weekend (I finally have internet again) but I received a comment from a guest that goes like this, "Move your lazy ass and WRITE! You damn fuckin' overly-unnerving lazy-bones crappy author! Jashin will smite you by crushing you under his colourful vocabulary-the which puts Hidan and sailors to shame!"

Whoever wrote this comment,

I love you.

I love all my comments, and I mean all, but this comment put you all to shame with its glory. Not to mention it is all completely true. Jashin has smited me, and it wasn't fun, I emotionally shit myself and it wasn't pretty. As for being a "damn fuckin' overly-unnerving lazy-bones crappy author" this is also entirely true, so true that I think you stalk me somehow...that might just be my imagination.

Anyway here is chapter 11, right? It might be ten or twelve I forgot to check. Anyway here is your fuckin' chapter from my lazy ass self.

* * *

I tried to count the seconds to maybe make an estimate of where I was going. It didn't work. Inner interrupted me. A speed bump knocked me off guard. I thought about dressing up as a penis. I thought about Taylor Lautner. Inner thought about Taylor Lautner. I'm pretty sure Kisame thought about Taylor Lautner. Itachi probably thought about himself, that narcissistic asshole.

* * *

**Hey.**

_'What?'_

**I love you.**

_'What?'_

**Huh?**

_'Don't huh me, you said "I love you"'_

**So I'm you.**

_'Oh, I love me too.'_

**That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.**

_'What are you talking about, I said that to me.'_

**Exactly.**

_'Then why did you say "I love you" why didn't you just say "I love me".'_

**Because I'm racist.**

_'What? That doesn't make sense!'_

**Just stop pointing out my thoughts okay!**

_'This conversation just got very confusing, very quickly.'_

It seemed like the I'd been in that car for forever, the conversations me and inner had proved how bored, and scared I had become.

**So we're just going to end our conversation there?**

_'What?'_

**You aren't going to say you love me back?**

_'I said "I love me".'_

**And I said "I love you".**

_'But you meant Taylor Lautner'_

**And how do you know that?**

_'I am fucking You!'_

**I'm a virgin so I'm pretty sure you're not fucking me.**

_'We're going to die and this is the conversation you are choosing to have with me.'_

**It wouldn't be this way if you just said "I love you too", but no you had to drag me around like I was some thing to be had.**

_'What is wrong with you?'_

**I'm on my period, now will you just leave me alone.**

_'How is that possible?'_

**How is what possible?**

_'How are you on your period? You're me!?'_

**Well aren't you?**

_'No.'_

**Oh, well this is awkward.**

_'I don't know how to respond to you anymore.'_

**Nicely?**

_'Why? That never works for you.'_

**That is just rud****e. You know you need to learn some manners. I mean everybody else …**

_'Shut up.'_

**Why? Don't tell me what to do...**

'_SHUT UP!'_

**...**

_'The car stopped.'_

**…**

_'…'_

**…**

_'We're going to die.'_

**I know.**

_'Um... uh, inner?'_

**Huh?**

_'I love you too'_

**I know, I'm you.**

* * *

I started paying close attention to my surroundings, which was really hard considering I couldn't see them. Suddenly the back doors opened and what I assumed was a huge buff (and probably blue) arm grabbed me and through me over a probably blue shoulder. (If you haven't gotten the hint yet, Kisame through me over hs shoulder and started to carry me where ever we had just stopped.) Apparently they don't trust me enough to walk.

**Is it wrong that I find this attractive?**

_'Yes.'_

**Figured as much.**

_'..Wait how the hell has no one seen me? You'd think someone would notice a girl blindfolded in the back of the a car. Or being carried out of said car.'_

**Maybe we're in the woods.**

_'That's relaxing.'_

**I hear a door!**

Sure enough a door was opened and I was taken inside it. A few footsteps in and Kisame dropped me on a soft surfice.

_'A couch?'_

**Such hospitality.**

_'You're kidding right?'_

**No.**

Despite inners lack of worry I was dropped onto the couch when I could feel Kisame taking off the blindfold. What I saw was frustrating.

_'Those assholes.'_

**How the hell did we not find this place sooner.**

I was looking at a large living room, decked out with leather couches, hardwood floors (with soft looking rugs covering it), a flat screen tv the size of my room, and certain gang members that I wasn't particularly happy with.

_'I can't believe they blindfolded and kidnapped me just to bring me here.'_

Hidan who was lounging on one of the couches look over smiling like a rapist.

"Hey there pinky."

**How dare he steal sharkies nickname for us!**

I ignored inner and with a straight face I looked the smirking bastard in the eyes and said,

"What up douche."

**Sometimes we go a little overboard with insults.**

_'Asshole asked for it.'_

**Wouldn't it be nice if he was Taylor Lautner?**

_'Sure inner, sure.'_

* * *

A/N: So I know this chapter was super short and I haven't updated in forever, but it's better than nothing right? Anyway I don't how long the chapters will be but expect a chapter every Tuesday and maybe Thursdays. Also any ideas or questions pm me or just put them in a comment.

-The pairing poll is still up and will be up until I decide to take it down (I don't know when).

-I wrote a new story stolen property, It isn't as good as Pen Pals but in my opinion it is pretty funny.

Disclaimer: Come on, if I owned Naruto there'd be a lot more jokes and smut, and a harem here and there, ... and a light up yo-yo... always a light up yo-yo.

Read and Review

From a Schizophrenic with too much time and not enough friends...and a sadistic sense of humor,

~awesomepigman


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I really do love you guys, I loves coming home and finding the awesomest comments ever! I just love how freakin' awesome you all are! Now I do have a question, Is there anything you want me to make or do for this story? As long as it is free (sorry but the economy sucks and I'm poor) I'll make it. Or just any general ideas or questions about the story. Also I have a fictionpress under the same name (awesomepigman) so check it out if you want but I warn you it's all poetry and it isn't comedic at all. Anyway enough talking here's chapter 12 (I checked the chapter number this time.)

* * *

Hidan really did not enjoy my 'friendly greeting' in fact it's pretty safe to say he hated it. After a heated argument (that lasted a half an hour) the rest of the douche-bags decided that they should probably intervene. I got angry and stormed out the front door. I was now in the front yard of the house, which turned out to be a forest. Wondering around trying to figure out where the fuck I was.

_'I hate it when your right.'_

**I hate it when I'm wrong. Wait how am I right?**

_'They trapped us in a forest.'_

**Oh, well look on the bright side we won't be killed in a vicious way.**

_'I don't think they planned on killing us, and now we are going to starve to death or be eaten.'_

**Oh. Hey quick question.**

_'What.'_

**How did we get here?**

_'In the forest?'_

**No... I mean yeah, but not by storming out the door. I mean how did they bring us here, there's no road?**

_'...Is this some weird messed up version of Alice in Wonderland?'_

**Maybe, or it's a dream and we're going to wake up and none of this really happened.**

_'A dream that goes on for almost two months?'_

**Maybe we're in a coma.**

_'I'm pretty sure I wouldn't dream about being kidnapped by the akatsuki and then wandering around in a forest, comatose or not.'_

**I don't know we've had some pretty strange dreams.**

_'Good strange or bad strange?'_

**Both.**

_'Yeah, I'm still pretty sure this isn't a dream.'_

**Your right! It's a nightmare!**

_'We have issues.'_

**Nu-uh.**

_'You sound like a little kid.'_

**Shut up.**

I ignored inners temper tantrum (or as she put it hormones) and finally stopped wondering around to sit in the grass now exhausted.

_'What are we going to do.'_

Inner ignored me. I sighed and pulled out my phone (why didn't they take it from me?) It said I had a new alert for my blog. Opening it I scowled knowing that it was those assholes who blindfolded me. The screen came up and I scrolled down to read the latest post.

_Artisabang: Where are you, un? _(A/N: That's right Deidara says un even online.)

**Did he just type un at the end?**

_'At least we know who it is now.'_

**Are you going to reply?**

_'I kind of have to, if I don't then we're stuck here.'_

_Pinky: If I say are you guys going to find me or are you just asking out of curiosity_

**The way who wrote that sounds bitchy.**

_'Well I'm in a bitchy mood.'_

**Whatever just read his reply.**

_Artisabang: I'm not going to look for you, find your own way around, un._

_'Ass.'_

**Well you were very bitchy.**

_'Shut up.'_

_Pinky: Would anyone there be willing to?_

_Artisabang: No, un._

_Pinky: FUCK YOU!_

**You over did it.**

_'Fuck you too, inner.'_

**... Are you sure it isn't your time of the month.**

_**'**Shut up and go die in a hole!'_

**I'd whether not, the only hole I can think of has blood in it right now.**

_'That was just too far, too far.'_

**Sorry, I'm a little edgy since I found out we were going to die.**

_'It's okay I think we're both a little edgy right now.'_

**I think you made someone else a little edgy.**

_'What do you mean?...oh, crap.'_

I looked down to see a not so great message.

_Artisabang: Have fun dying, un._

_'That bitch,'_

_Pinky: Drag Queen_

* * *

A/N; Sorry this chapter was so short but homework and school have really made it hard to find time to write, but I will write as much as possible for you guys because once again epic comments and I love you all.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto but I do write this story which according to...me is pretty badass. Can Naruto call himself badass? Yes he can but that isn't the point. The point is Naruto is much better and thought out then this story, and badass. Anyway I still think I'm pretty badass.

Read and review

From a schizophrenic author who's friends won't read her DAMN FANFICTION!...Those jerks,

~awesomepigman


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: ...I really don't know what to say. Um well the guest that I professed my love to, yeah, let's just say... You are freaking awesome! My friends freak out when I start talking like you did in you last two comments, especially the end of you last comment. They'll tell me I'm a freak and that it is just flat-out gross to say freaky threats like that, but it's what I do so I once again love your comments!

Also Aisa Haruka, yes an amazing (lazy as shit) author like me loves your story and hope you find your muse again.

Finally thanks to all who have commented, followed, favorited, pm'd and so on, I really appreciated it. (I'm really trying not to say I love you even though in a way I do. Agape anyone?) Anyway here is chapter 13, please silence your cellphones and enjoy the show.

* * *

So here I am sitting in a forest which happens to be the akatsuki's front yard. I am currently exhausted, thirsty, angry at a certain blonde who is gender confused, and did I mention I'm...oh wait, nevermind I mentioned everything. Slowly I curled up in a ball holding my legs against me and resting my chin on my knees. My eyes felt heavy and I started to drift into hibernation (you see I don't sleep I hibernate, there's a difference.)

* * *

Opening my eyes I saw a big purple dinosaur.

_'Barney?'_

Sure enough Barney was standing over me as I lie in a field of bright luscious green grass. If that doesn't scare you then I don't know what does but it must be some crazy ass shit.

After realizing the horror that was happening, I did the only logical thing and screamed.

"Well hey there you're awake!" The evil purple demon spoke then gave his loud creeper laugh.

_'What is going on?'_

I became frantic trying to get up but suddenly rope was tying me to the ground.

_'Rope? How the hell does rope just come up from the ground and tie you down? What the hell is going on!?'_

I screamed more and began to struggle but the rope wouldn't loosen a bit.

_'Okay inner now would be a good time to say something really obnoxious but gives me a great idea then suddenly we're free and Barney's dead! Inner? Hey inner, where are ya girl? You want a treat? Where the hell are you!?'_

Suddenly Barney started singing his oh so famous song, except the words have changed.

"I fucked you, you fucked me,

Lets go get some STD's

Maybe Aids, maybe herpes

Then accident'ly a baby"

The song creeped me out beyond belief, I was now screaming full force. When suddenly reality kicked in and I was back in the akatsuki's forest (that's right, not their mansion, or castle, or awesome colossal building their forest.) Trying to catch my breath (apparently I screamed in real life too) an annoying but familiar voice kicked in.

**What's going on are we being raped!...No... why'd you scream?**

_'You don't want to know.'_

**Why?**

_'Just don't.'_

**But..**

_'No buts just don't'_

**...I trust you.**

Finally accepting that the horror was now over I saw that it was dark. So dark that I wouldn't be able to find my way back to the house if I wanted.

_'Those assholes left me out here to die.'_

**Maybe one of them texted you?**

Inner gave me a brilliant idea. I can use the flashlight app on my phone I turned on the flashlight and began navigating.

_'If I went straight into the forest the curved off to the left making it harder for them to follow then it should be behind me to the right and straight.'_

**You know if you didn't get so angry so easily you would never have had to deal with this.**

_'You know if I wasn't in a possible life or death situation right now I'd make sure you don't exist.'_

**My only regret if we do die is that I never married and had children with Taylor Lautner.**

_'No one cares.'_

**...**

We remained silent from that point on as I pointed my lit phone at the forest floor and tried not to injure myself. I failed. When I thought we went enough to the right and decided to head straight back I tripped on a tree branch and twisted my ankle. Trying to walk on it but soon realised that that wasn't the best idea. Giving up on finding my way back I went to my last resort.

* * *

_Pinky: Someone tell Tobi I'll buy him Lego's if someone comes to get me._

_Tobiisagoodboy:Lego's!_

_Pinky: Yes Lego's. Now someone come get me, I'm a straight shot from the door I left from but a little ways in this damn forest._

_Artisabang: Hell no! no one is going to go get you, find your own way back, un_

_Pinky: I can't! I twisted my ankle and I think it's broken._

_JashinsBitch: Jashin is just giving you what you deserve bitch!_

_Tobiisagoodboy: Why is everyone so mean to Tobi's friend?_

_Pinky: Because they don't want you to get Lego's_

_Tobiisagoodboy: No one wants to find Sakura so I'll save you._

_'_** ...I'm not quite sure that's the most well thought out plan, but I guess it's a plan.'**

I set my phone down and tried to make a splint for my foot, I succeeded in making the splint but failed when it came to finding where I set down my phone. Feeling around I felt the shiny back and picked it up realising it had died.

"Shit" I whispered curses under my breath and waited for Tobi (or anyone for that matter).

No one ever showed up, or at least not until morning. Those a-holes.

* * *

A/N: I honestly think this chapter was boring but oh well.

One of my best buds and me came up with Barney's song lyrics and are aware of how messed up they are.

I still have the pairing poll open for new followers/readers

Who wants to be awesome? Well you can! Draw some fan art, write a one shot or short story, write a poem, write a song, I don't care just make stuff and I'll post it on this story's blog and the links in my profile.

Also if you guys like my story I suggest you read:

Scrumdidileeumptious by BitterSweetCrimson (I don't like choosing specific favorites because I feel like I'm leaving someone out when I do but this is my favorite fanfiction.)

Survival Guide to the Criminally Isane Akatsuki by Review Whore (One of my favorites and it has two sequels)

Disclaimer: I do own Naruto, society just won't believe me.

From a schizophrenic author who hopes that their fans would miss her if she died, but would still make threats to update because they'd be oblivious to said author's death,

~awesomepigman


	14. Chapter 14

"A/N: Hey sorry for the longish wait but I did say I was mainly posting on Tuesdays and todays Tuesday so I think I did pretty good with this update right?..Yeah maybe not. Anyway, Thank you for reviewing everyone You guys really make my day! Anyway, thank you also to Daikuro I appreciate you making an account to pester me and I will hold you to your word if you don't got it? (And I also have a swearing problem when people make me mad, and although my threats aren't as interesting I have a bit of a blood and gore issue too, so I guess we have quite a bit in common. Anyway thanks for reviewing and suggesting Black Flames Dance in the Wind: Rise of Naruto I'm now reading it!)

Now I have some reviews I want to address so here I go:

Simplicity-Shitzuboku: Thank you so much for your continued support and freakin' hilarious reviews!

MiyatheEarthninja: I love reading your comments, I have no clue why but the way you review reminds me of one of my friends

Aisa Haruka: We be chill...I think, but we are friends who don't even know each other :D... Sorry if that sounds weird I honestly didn't mean to be

And thanks to everyone else (I crack up at so many of your guy's comments I just never respond (I is horrible...)

Finally I brought the question of how old I was awhile back but never answered...I don't feel like telling you guys my exact age (maybe later) but Akatsuki's-chick was in the right area with "15-18ish maybe 14" And it is definitely in that area range...OKAY! Story! Here is chapter 14.

* * *

So if you remember I was in the forest bribing Tobi with Lego's to come and get me, while I had a possibly broken ankle and a son-of-a-bitch gang who refused to help me. Tobi claimed he was coming to get me, claimed being the key word. I sat awake in the middle of a forest with a dead phone and all my trust in a childish teenager...oh wait he's technically a freaking adult! Anyway, after a couple hours of waiting the sun started rising and I realized the only sleep I had gotten was a quick nap about a purple rapist dinosaur, so like a sensible person (I'm not sensible at all) I fell asleep.

* * *

I'm not always the brightest person. I actually do extremely well in school, however when it comes to street smarts I utterly fail (A/N: Sorry but I thinks it's just to cliché to make Sakura this extreme bad ass so I'm starting to give actual strong and weak attributes.) I have no clue how to navigate through a dense forest, especially not with a broken ankle ( I decided it was broken since I couldn't move it anymore.) So I gave up and slept, which seemed like a good idea except I woke up to some pretty angry gang members and a very energetic Tobi who was in a 'not so good' condition. Tobi had twigs, grass, mud, and who knows what else that was on the ground clinging to him.

**Remind me not to hug him anytime soon.**

_'Why It looks like he's the only one who actually willingly tried to find us.'_

**Doesn't mean I have to hug him.**

_'The rest don't look happy'_

**I wonder why?**

_'How am I suppose to know!'_

**You're kidding right?**

_'No?'_

**Holy Shit. I always knew you were insane but this is just flat-out denial if you don't know why they're so mad.**

_'Well why are they?'_

**How am I supposed to know?**

_'Why do I feel like life would be easier without you?'_

**Because it probably would.**

_'Then why so I keep you around?'_

**I'm fun.**

_'Right.'_

Anyway, remember those shitty gang members who I said looked pissed, well they were now once again blindfolding me, and tying my wrists (how sweet), and once again I was slung over Kisame's shoulder like a sack of flour.

"You know if wasn't in this situation I'd think you guys like me."

Silence.

"Whoever said silence is golden, is an asshole and a liar." At this I received a shark-like chuckle, if it were possible for sharks to chuckle.

Then everything went silent again.

"What the hell! I already know where you're taking me, I can't run with a broken ankle, so why do I need to be blindfolded and bound."

Kisame stopped walking, probably considering this then took off the blindfold.

"Ah, I knew you guys liked me"

"Not anymore, un"

"...anymore." I tried my best to sound heartbroken.

**Yeah remember you stormed out into, the forest and they had to go out of their way to find you, that didn't really make you their favorite.**

_'Oh'_

"In all fairness this is still a better situation then being raped by a purple dinosaur."

Everyone stopped and stared

"What Barney is a creeper."

**Great explanation.**

_'I take pride in it.'_

**Sure you do.**

A very hyper teenager/adult/child/I have no fucking clue what to call Tobi, started talking/shouting.

"Barney isn't a creeper, he is nice and is Tobi's role model. Barney teaches Tobi to be nice and give hugs."

"Because a drug addict who swears at children on tv is always the best role model." I don't think Tobi heard me, but Kisame sure did, and I swear I saw a smile from Deidara.

After about a half-an-hour of walking, and by that I mean a couple minutes, and by that I mean like two seconds later, I started new conversation.

"Hey Deidara."

He glanced over like he had to decide if it was better to answer or not.

"What, un"

"I really didn't mean anything by that drag queen thing, I hope we can be friends." I smiled sweetly back at him.

"Whatever, un"

"I mean it honestly, you could do so much better then that, you're pretty enough to be a well paid hooker, and I'm sure there are some men out there that won't mind that your voice is to deep."

At this Deidara was fuming, steam was coming out of his nostrils and I thought for a second maybe it would've been better if he didn't answer me in the first place.

* * *

A/N: Okay so I made some progress, and just so everyone knows I'm really taking relationships slowly, because I want them to develop and flow and just happen naturally. Anyway, list:

1: Who should Sakura end up with? Poll is still up. And with 86 followers I expect 86 voters on my POll! but no last I checked(2 seconds ago) there were 26 voters! I mean come on that is not even half.

2: I wrote a new story called "It sort of happens", It is a comedy made up of oneshots in which Naruto characters are subjects to awkward moments. Please read.

3: Sorry I took forever to update I have excuses but nobody really cares about that so I'll try to update when I can.

4: Okay so I'm always up for a challenge, so I decided to challenge you guys, Pm me your best jokes and each chapter I promise to use one.

Read and Review :)

Disclaimer: Sometimes I get depressed not because of my friends, or family, or that annoying bird outside my window, or because I lost my yo-yo(which is hard to not get upset about) but because I, yes me, do not own Naruto.

From a schizophrenic author who belongs highly medicated in an insane asylum,

~awesomepigman

p.s. I wrote the first half of this chapter a week ago and thought that it was note worthy to say, I have found my yo-yo.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: I think I'll start naming my chapters

After Deidara's...Outburst? Sure that's what we'll call it. Anyway after Deidara's outburst everything went back to normal. By normal I mean how we were at jack-in-the-box. Which just so happens to be the opposite of normal. Technically the opposite of normal has become my normal. Wow, my life either got really good, really fast, or it just reached a new level of wrong.

_'Is it wrong to hang out with the akatsuki?'_

**Probably.**

_'Oh, Should I hang out with them?'_

**If** **you want, I don't know.**

_'What's up with you?'_

**I think...nah, nevermind.**

_'What? Don't just say "nevermind"'_

**Well I was thinking and...**

_'And...?'_

**Is it just me or are all the akatsuki sex gods.**

_'No...just...well everyone except Kakuzu.'_

**Wait! Woah! Back it up! Are you saying Zetsu, Tobi, and Kisame are hot?**

_'Maybe."_

**Zetsu.**

_'Possibly'_

**Why?**

_'I don't know.'_

**Wait, I just realized something else.**

_'What?'_

**Did you just call Konan hot?**

_'Totally, I really want to hit that, Inner.'_

**Lies! Lies! They're all Lies! I can't be trapped in your body! Taylor will never love me!**

_'That's really insensitive.'_

**Insensitive? I'll show you insensitive!**

_'Sure.'_

**You evil witch! I will tie you down, tear out your insides and force feed them to you! Then, I'll watch as you slowly die, twitching as you choke on your own intestines and guts!**

_'...Too far. Just no. Bad inner.'_

**Sorry.**

_'No your not.'_

**I'm not.**

A/N: So this isn't really a chapter but I didn't want to post nothing so I wrote this. Anyway list:

From here on out I promise to post 1-2 times a week on every story.

The next chapter will be posted Thursday evening and will exceed 3000 words

Recent dreams have inspired a new story, which will have an actual plotline and be funny as hell.

I have finally gotten out of my authors block and I'm ready to write!

Everything will be posted Thursday.

Anyone notice this is the first post for this story without my obnoxious cursing?

Disclaimer: I don't own naruto. Live with it, because when the time comes, I will.

From an insane but highly enthusiastic for some unknown reason schizophrenic who has had time-traveling themed dreams for the past week and has no clue why but enjoys them because they are fun,

~awesomepigman


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Bet You Thought This Was About Time-Travel

Finally, after making Deidara angry a couple more times(It's fun and easy) we returned to the Akatsuki's mansion in the woods. Yeah, mansion. We already had this discussion right? Well, anyway, the mansion with an insane gang might have been creepy if it weren't for the fact that it looks like a fancy hotel/castle/place. Oh and there's a stray dog peeing on the front step.

_'Why is there a dog in the middle of the forest?'_

**...**

_'Inner?'_

**You Dumbass.**

_'What?'_

**Look behind the mansion you shithead!**

I looked to the side of the mansion to see what inner meant and I saw, yes, I saw the freakin' highway.

_'Those Fucking Douchebags.'_

* * *

If you're wondering how I managed to get lost in a forest with a highway right there or how I managd to not notice the highway, then stop. Just stop wandering because it not fair. If, however you are still wondering then fine I'll explain it to you. Magic. That's right magic. The Akatsuki are magical. You know Harry Potter, warlocks, wizards, and wiches, and all that random shit. Well, that's right they know magic and tricked me into the forest. Hell, I bet there is no forest, it's just a fricken' illusion. Yep, that's all magic, wizards, illusions, all the usual stuff.

**Wouldn't that mean your ankle is fine.**

_'No'_

**Yeah, it would. It would mean there was no forest, therefore there was no twigs or branches to trip on, meaning you would never have broken your foot.**

_'It was a very realistic illusion, magic can do that sometimes.'_

**I'm sure.**

Anyway, as I was brought back into the mansion (that's what I'm calling it) a very angry Hidan sat on the, now heavenly looking cushy leather, couch. Just to make the situation worse the jerk opened his mouth.

"Who brought the bitch back?"

**You know I'm starting to think that he isn't Taylor Lautner.**

_'What gave you that idea?'_

**Well first he doesn't look like Taylor Lautner.**

_'No shit sherlocke.'_

**Ow.**

Ignoring inner as usual while she wallowed in her self pity,(wait does that mean I pity her/myself?) I decided that mine and Hidan's conversation wasn't over.

"The real question is who allowed such an asshole in here."

Hidan then rose from the couch pissed off.

"What did you just say?"

Taking advantage if the situation I made my witty reply.

"Oh, sorry forgot the only two word in your vocabulary are bitch and fuck."

Okay so it wasn't that witty

**I thought it was okay.**

_'Shut up nobody likes you.'_

**Ah...**

Inner then retreated into her silent corner.

"You fucking bitch, I'll fucking kill..."

Hidan then paused mid-sentence as if he was frozen in place by a spell (it's magic I tell you). I followed his gaze until I saw a mean looking Akatsuki Leader (That's right everyone calls Pein leader because he's just a badass Akatsuki leader. Not to mention scary.)

* * *

**A/N: Before anyone yells at me for this chapter not being 3,000 words blame the evilness that is school. That's right I had this typed up and everything and was going to work on it yesterday and finish it up today but no school had to be a bitch and give me shit tons of homework :( While this sucks seriously I will update every story Friday, Saturday and Sunday as said below.**

**Friday: **

**-It sort of happens: Chapter 2**

**-Random oneshot I wrote down**

**Saturday: **

**-Stolen Property: Chapter 2**

**-It sort of happens: Chapter 3**

**Sunday:**

**-Pen Pals: Chapter 17**

**-It's All in The Past: Chapter 1**

**This time I'm positive these will be posted and like I said in the last chapter I writing a new story from the point of veiw of 4 oc's called It's all in the past and it's all about time-travel with the akatsuki. Also there will be a time-travel chapter for this story a couple chapters in (about chapter 20 maybe later.)**

**Disclaimer: Damn right I don't own Naruto, If I did you guys would be read some hella sort chapters.**

**From a very depressed schizophrenic who is sad because she has insane amounts of homework she should be doing,**

**~awesomepigman**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I know I am a bitch I need to update so much and I feel awful. Please no one kill me! I'll say everything at the end of the chapter. So please read that when you get to it. Anyway here's a chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 17: I Broke the Wall

_'__Hey inner?'_

**Hmm.**

'_All those times I wished Hidan would shut up, right now I'd just wish he'd say something.'_

**Uh huh.**

'_Inner? Are you listening to me?'_

'_Inner!'_

We now interrupt this program to show you inner with her lawyer as she creates her last will and testament. Now back to reality.

Avoiding the empty soullessness of the ginger in front of me I looked at the ground while playing with my hands.

'_Please Lord don't let me die. I know I've made some stupid decisions but if I live I promise I won't listen to inner anymore.'_

**Hey!**

_'Oh you are there.'_

**Damn right I'm here! This wouldn't be a successful fanfiction without me!**

_'Did we just break the fourth wall?'_

**I don't know, probably.**

_'I don't think we're supposed to do that.'_

**Fine, fine, I'll stop. Let's just get on with it. We're about to die anyway.**

_'I don't think the readers will like that.'_

**Well they can deal with! I mean we have been frozen in time for so long I don't think they actually care what we do anymore as long as we're here.**

_'Maybe but don't you want to live?'_

**Yeah, I guess. Hold on while the author makes a quick edit where we actually live.**  
**There, now let's get on with it**

While I stood impatiently before the soulless ginger a great uneasy silence fell upon us. Then he spoke,

"I had Kisame and Itachi bring you here to allow you to join this gang despite your age. However,..."

**Oh shit. Not the however.**

"However, you caused quite the ruckus."

**Oh Come On! Who the fuck says quite and ruckus! You honestly can't write anything better!**

'_Inner, stop with the fourth wall jokes.'_

**I'm sorry but this is just terrible. No soulless ginger gang leader says "quite the ruckus"!**

'_Just leave it alone inner. I'm sure it will be fine.'_

**Whatever..**

"Though in regards to the current members they too failed to maintain a peaceful presence."

**OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!**

_'Inner your just making it worse.'_

**I'm making it worse!? I am the one making it worse!? You're the son of a bitch that couldn't just let us die in the beginning! No, we have to have the author edit it so we live! But that is all fine and dandy considering we are in "quite a ruckus"!**

'_Look lets just get on with this chapter and everything will be back to normal, or well as normal as it can be.'_

**Fine, but if there is one more out of place, slightly British word then I'm done.**

So the ginger continued his speach.  
"Therefore, I will allow you to join our fairly formidable gang."

**THAT'S IT! I give up! I'm just going to end this chapter right here and now!**  
**Next, we join the Akatsuki. However we kind of over did our stay and figured Tsunade would be worried. Then, we leave making sure to keep in touch through text messaging rather then opening up that blog just to talk. Kisame and Itachi bring us back to Jack in the Box and we get our car and go home. Finally, we are greeted by a worried and drunk, and I mean angry drunk Tsunade. We then tell her a hilarious lie that by fanfiction law she must believe for the story to progress. She then proceeds to yell at us for skipping school, we then go to our room where we have two hours before we have to get ready for school.**

* * *

I layed down to go to sleep despite only having two hours, only to see the message icon on my phone flash. Picking it up I was met with a message by a jackass.

_Hidan: Pardon the timing but I believe I still have some harsh words to say to you._

**SON OF A BITCH!**

* * *

**A/N: Okay huge ass list.**  
**1. I won't break the fourth wall again except for the occasional joke, it was mainly used to make this originally more serious chapter funny.**  
**2. I will not make any promises when I'll update next, but I plan on writing more as soon as this is posted. I'm going to be writing and posting all day today.**  
**3. Please forgive me for the long absence but school is out so I'll have three months of free time.**  
**4. I want to know who you guys think Sakura's prom date should be because her prom will be in about 3-5 chapters. Also it isn't limited to just the Akatsuki, suggests anyone you want. Hell, suggests Karin for all I care just suggests someone.**  
**5. I'm back bitches!**

Disclaimer: I own Naruto, he's me bitch.

from the worst author who doubles as the best author, and somehow fits schizophrenic in the mix,  
-awesomepigman


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Yeah! 200 reviews! So this chapter isn't entirely necessary for the plot (than again there isn't much of a plot anymore) but is celebrating 200 reviews. Anyway next week I have absolutely nothing to do but stay home, play animal crossing with my bros and write some damn fanfiction for my neglected readers. I love you all still (even though I kind of forgot how much I loved you guys) and loved the comments and reviews. I'm back (at least for the summer) so that means get ready because I am packed full of jokes, offensive language, and idiotic humor. :D. NOW READ YOUR DAMN CHAPTER!**  
**...please? ._.**

* * *

Chapter 18: Operation: Find Sakura a Prom Date

* * *

**You know I think you've officially been upgraded from slut to outcast rebel.**

_'Wow. I've never felt so good about myself.'_

**Really? I never knew I meant that much to you.**

Sighing I walked down the halls of my own personal equivalent of hell, high school. Though inner did have a point, the whispers weren't as bad, and I didn't get bad looks anymore. I was just ignored, everyone just sort of figured it was wasted effort I guess. Don't get me wrong I prefer this over the gossip and stares anyday, but can't they at least acknowledge my existence. Is that to much to ask?

**Now you know how I feel, All The Damn Time!**

'_Oh. I'm sorry.'_

**...Hey, you okay? I mean you aren't even going to try to argue? ... I'll let you win.**

'_Thanks inner, but no thanks. I think I just want some time to process everything.'_

**I thought you did that. Remember, new wardrobe, slicing off my hair, fighting shit.**

_'Inner, my life went from being the funny popular high school girl, to a slut outcast with no friends but a college gang that she was just brought into and except by them and aunt Tsunade isn't even acknowledged as a living human being. To most of these people I'm nothing more than the gum that you scrape off of your shoes. I won't even be able to go to prom.'_

**Prom?**

_'It's in a month.'_

**That's why you're upset? Really? We have an entire arsenal of sexy men at are disposal and that's why you're upset.**

'_I don't think people can be considered an arsenal, and just cause we're in the gang doesn't mean we can use the members.'_

**Why not?**

'_Because...well...'cause..._  
_We Just Can't! Okay?._

**You don't even have a good excuse. Admit it, one of them would go with us.**

'_Whatever, class is about to start and thanks to you I'm lucky if I make it in time.'_

* * *

**Aren't you at least going to ask them?**

'_Ask who!? Come on inner lets make a mental list, we are going to sort it by who would go, who wouldn't, and who shouldn't.'_

**Okay, Taylor Lautner.**

'_For the last time he isn't Taylor Lautner, and Hidan would never say yes.'_

**Tobi.**

'_Yeah because people will totally like that! Inner he's a fucking child!.'_

**Sharkie.**

'_He's blue.'_

**So.**

'_It's illegal.'_

**So.**

'_Just say the next one.'_

**Sasori.**

'_Also, ille...wait what? Sasori, you aren't going to say Pein?'_

**One, he is your gang leader, you don't call him by name. Two, I don't care if it was an authors joke or not I don't forgive him for the last chapter. Three, have you seen him and Konan? They are my otp.**

_'Okay... Fine. Anyway, Sasori? Really? Has he said anything to us? Ever?'_

**No.**

'_Have we even ever said one thing to him?'_

**Well there was that one time and... no.**

'_Exactly. Next.'_

**Konan.**

'_Didn't you just say her and "leader" were your otp?'_

**Shuddup. Um... Kakuzu.**

'_I don't have nearly enough money for that.'_

**True. Very true. Deidara.**

'_You saw how pissed he was last time we talked. We literally called him a drag queen then a prostitute.'_

**Oh, right. You know you really need to think before you speak, because losing a possible date could be a consiquence.**

'_I try to think first, problem is you're always there.'_

**Yeah, yeah save it for later. Let see who else...**

'_Inner.'_

**So, um, what about Sasuke's older brother.**

_'Itachi?'_

**That would be the one.**

_'Inner?'_

**Yes.**

_'That's illegal.'_

**Really? Damn, you know he's hot right? 'cause with that attitude you don't seem to be aware of it.**

'_That's it. Oh and if you hadn't noticed, They were all no's.'_

**Wait, you forgot someone.**

'_What are you talking about?'_

**Zetsu. He isn't illegal and could probably use the self esteem boost of a girl actually wanting to go somewhere with him.**

'_He's a fucking green oreo and I'm pretty sure he doesn't like us!'_

**I like oreo's for one! Second, you don't know that!**

'_You wanna bet!_'

**Yeah, actually, I do.**

'_Fine._'

**Fine. You text him what he's doing this weekend, and if he wants to hangout and if he shows no interest whatsoever you can mope all you want. However, if he agrees and wants to and he shows how much he cares then honey we're picking out a green dress.**

_'Fine but you sure you want to go to prom with him, last I checked you had your heart said on Taylor Lautner.'_

**Oh, be realistic. I don't even know Taylor Lautner. Plus he was in those awful movies.**

_'You mean the Twilight Saga?'_

**No I mean all his movies.**

'_This is so unlike you.'_

**How so.**

'_You're dissing Taylor Lautner. I'm not even aloud to do that and I'm you.'_

**Well you know, he's meh at most.**

_'Meh?'_

**Yeah. You know who is really hot and I mean sex-ay.**

'_Who?'_

**Liam Hemsworth.**

_'Who?'_

**The little brother of Chris Hemsworth.**

'_Who?'_

**Chris Hemsworth, a.k.a. Thor.**

_Okay but who's his brother?_

**Liam Hemsworth! He fucking plays Gale in the Hunger Games!**

'_Oh him. He's hot.'_

**Damn straight.**

'_The Hunger Games was a pretty good movie.'_

**Meh.**

'_Meh? Oh come on it was alright.'_

**I'm not saying it was bad, I just don't like how similar the book was to Battle Royale.**

'_What?'_

**It's a Japanese novel where a class of school children is picked each year to battle to the death, one lives, yada yada. Sound familiar?**

_'Are you saying The Hunger Games is a rip-off?'_

**No, I mean who knows, it could be a coincidence but I'll let you decide. Anyway Liam Hemsworth, will marry me, whether I force him to or not.**

_'Okay then. Moving on.'_

**What? Oh Right! You need to text your green m&m.**

'_It's green oreo, not m&m. The green m&m is the sexy female one that all the other m&m's want to get with.'_

**Exactly.**

_'That doesn't make sense.'_

**Hey you made a bet, now hop to it and text gumby.**

* * *

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

**Neither can I.**

'_I swear I'll get rid of you someday.'_

**How you plan on doing that?**

'_I'll figure it out.'_

**And if you don't?**

_'Oh I will.'_

**Try it, but you won't succeed.**

Taking one final breath I pressed send.

_Sakura: Hey._

**Your kidding, right?**

'_What?'_

**Don't what me. "Hey" is the best thing you can come up with.**

_'Oh come on everyone texts "Hey" then the other person says "hi" or something along those lines. Then the first person says "how's it going?" and the other person says how it's going. Then the first person is like "Oh that's _insert appropriate response_, want to hang out". Don't you know this inner.'_

**That seems like alot of work, can't you just say "hey, lets hang out".**

_'Only if you're really close, gosh everyone knows this.'_

**I don't know this and I'm pretty sure Zetsu won't either.**

_'Well it's your stupid bets fault we have to go through this!'_

**You never had to except it.**

_'You know what this is stupid I'm arguing over a bet I made with myself.'_

**You're just afraid you'll lose.**

Beep Beep Boo-Beep (A/N: Random Sound Effects! Yeah!)

**Moment of truth kiddo.**

_'We haven't asked yet dumbass.'_

**I'm not dumb.**

_'Yet, you don't deny the ass part?'_

**No, I'm ass and proud.**

"Huh. Well here goes nothing."

_Zetsu: Who is this_

'_Son of a bitch, see he didn't even add us as a contact.'_

**That fucking green asshole, he didn't even put a question mark at the end of his text.**

'_You're worried about grammar. Of course, you're worried about grammar. No, you can't actually show any emotion, that would blasphemous.'_

**Hey, you show more than enough emotion for the both of us.**

_'Bitch.'_

**Jerk.**

* * *

Bee-Boop Bee-Boop doo-wop (A/N: I think I'll give each of them their own random sound effect ringtone.)

_Sakura: Hey_

They green skined Akatsuki member looked at his phone and the pinkette's message. Not knowing how to reply he made pretend he didn't know who it was, maybe she'll ignore him and he can go back to pretending he didn't exist.  
Maybe she wouldn't notice him.

* * *

**A/N: Oh my gosh I haven't written a real chapter in so long! Anyway List:**  
**1. This is just a fun two chapters, the next chapter will sort of be part 2 of this. Zetsu may or may not be her prom date it's up to you. Like I said this is sort of a filler to get to the actual prom.**  
**2. I will make this a contest. I made a reference in this chapter, if anyone noticed it I will use whoever they want to be as Sakura's prom date. If no one finds it I'll just put everyones suggestions in a hat as many times as some new said it and draw randomly.**  
**3. Will someone tell me if this is funny or not? I just feel like I'm losing my touch... I don't know I guess I just might be tired since I have to read the jokes over and over while writing to make sure they're right.**  
**4. Read & Review (Forgot to say it last time :p)**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I owned Naruto, Itachi would have never ever fucking died and Naruto would have ended happy with Sasuke. Yeah, imagine that.

From a schizophrenic suffering from addiction, yes addiction, to the new animal crossing, of course,  
~awesomepikman(This is not the reference, just really tired and wrote pikman instead, decided that it was awesome and would leave it that way.)  
~awesomepigman


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